Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I'm So Busy Memeing I Can Hardly Think Straight or Ten Or More Things I Learned From My Dog

SUMMARY: Another Facebook tagging fantasy: "Ten things I learned from my dog(s)."

  1. To get everyone's immediate attention, roll in something disgusting.
  2. Squirrels are the devil.
  3. If your ancestry is questionable, claim to be purebred and let them prove otherwise via expensive DNA testing or asking your mom--who'll never give away your secrets and doesn't speak English anyway.
  4. Life is like hunting gophers: Dig and dig and dig and dig until you realize you're not going to reach that goal, then go do something else and let other people clean up the mess.
  5. Roofrats are the devil.
  6. The boss doesn't like to lie in a bed covered with dog hair. Shed everywhere, and the whole thing is yours.
  7. If it fits in your mouth, it's edible.
  8. The mailman is the devil.
  9. Bathing is overrated. (See also #1.)
  10. Photographers love it when you show them your butt.
  11. "No!" means "yes!"
  12. Even though your keen sense of smell reveals what bully sticks are made from, it doesn't really matter because they still taste darned good.
  13. Don't mess with Jim Basic's lawn.
  14. The devil hates it when you bark like a rabid wombat and throw yourself against the plate-glass picture window, so do it as often as possible to drive him away. Everyone will thank you for it in a loud and excited voice.

9 comments:

  1. Because messing with Jim's lawn makes the boss a poor lady and then Jim knows your dogs think No means Yes! And above all DO NOT do that gopher digging on Jim's lawn!

    These actually transcend things we have learned from dogs to important rules of the universe!

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  2. Hmmm, I think #10 is highly conditional on the butt. And the photographer.

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  3. As a photographer with a camera even, I can assure you that I do not deliberately take dog-butt photos but still seem to have a large collection of them, so someone seems to be under a mistaken impression about this. Perhaps not all the lessons we learn from our dogs are useful ones.

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  4. Ha. Someone at my house is under the same mistaken impression.

    http://daysofspeed.blogspot.com/2005/12/gratuitous-puppy-pictures.html

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  5. I see what you mean. But I also see that puppies are still cute even at 8 months. Dang them!

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  6. You left out opossums being the devil. :-)

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  7. I laughed out loud at every one :-)

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  8. Laughing out loud with the truth of each one!

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