A little Christmas melancholy but a very Merry holiday to you

T-shirt tales—Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Tell me more. or Read all t-shirt tales

SUMMARY:  It is hard not to feel it. For me anyway. At this time anyway

Source: Discord chat with another writer Dec 22,2023

Somehow I seem to be more busy than before I retired, moved out of state, and left most of my family and friends behind. But I have finished my Christmas shopping since I really have only two family members, two dogs (Only one of them mine), and a couple of neighbors And friends to shop lightly for this year. Such a small number of gifts. So surely I can leave wrapping them until the last minute tomorrow.

As much of my life as I can remember – – and I'm retirement age, so that's...forever – – everyone in the family and their significant others (And often their parents and siblings) and their children and random friends and cousins from near and far and Dad's parents until they died (in the 1970s, but I can still recall how disquieting it felt the first Christmas that neither of them were there) gathered at my parents' house Christmas morning for an astonishing number of Christmas present openings. Even if each person received one gift, that was still a lot, but some of us--like my dad and me--enjoyed giving more than one gift to each person. Christmas at their place became legendary.

Then my dad died in 2015 and it impacted me like a crash and burn. We still all gathered that Christmas and still had a lot of gifts. But he had been the true driving force, And of course their house was good because it was huge because we all grew up in that house. The following year, mom's health declined rapidly and she died two days after Christmas, and we sold their house. We tried for a while, but it wasn't the same. I know they say that, to avoid this kind of sadness during the season, one should create new traditions. We didn't seem to be doing that. I didn't know what to try to create.

[Sidenote: That was a hard, hard year. Lost dad and mom, Tika and boost, dad's cousin who used to spend Christmas with us, and the beloved dog,Who got along well with Tika and boost, of My cousin (dad's cousins daughter) who also used to spend Christmases with us]

I have to work at managing the grief around this holiday. Not looking for sympathy, it's just a thing that is true. Three of us moved completely out of state to basically the same town and we are experimenting with planning a Christmas this year more suitable to three people than 20. We will open gifts, we will have a good meal, we will go for a probably short hike, we will drive out Christmas Eve looking at decorated houses,  we will see about trying to visit some of the many local waterfalls that we haven't seen yet, we will go through our notes and photos from our big trip in October, We will probably watch some Christmas shows or movies. we might do a jigsaw puzzle. Whether a new tradition will spring out of this remains to be determined.

This will be our ninth Christmas without Dad Cheering us on and preparing parts of a Christmas feast to browse from all day and mom trying to keep him moderate and doling out love. Missing them still feels like yesterday.

I have mom's Christmas T-shirt that she received fairly late in her life. It's almost new. I have worn it at Christmas. I don't feel like mom when I do. But the message on the front feels like her.

Tuesday TShirt Tales: Doing The Best I Can

T-shirt tales—Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Tell me more. or Read all t-shirt tales

SUMMARY: And sometimes just hanging out.

This is one of my two (so far) pandemic-specific shirts. Summarizes a world in which you're more or less isolated from everyone and everything.  And everything you do must be done with caution. 

My sister and her husb don't go out much*, either, and when they do, they also wear masks. Even though the restrictions were removed in California back in June. Because, at the same time, concern was growing about the rapidly increasing number of cases of the Delta Variant--much more contagious.  And since then, holyyyy moleyyy, getting worse. 

So caution is still critical. Wear masks. Keep distanced. Wash hands. Avoid crowds (particularly if filled with Unvaccinated idiots ... oops,sorry..).

And, in fact, this caution is multipurpose! Sister noted that, although she usually gets colds a few times a  year, she hasn't had any since March of last year.

This is at their house two weeks back. We agreed to be in the same place (that is, their place or mine) without masks, after months upon months of masked and outdoor-only caution, assuming it's low risk.  And glaring at each other suspiciously each time. Just to let each other know that we've got an eye on 'em.

Lounging on their Comfy Couch. Watching their television! How weird is that?!** Only because: Marvel Cinematic Universe. Loki, 6 episodes. Wanda Vision, 9 episodes. Specifically, Disney+ channel.

Enjoyed the series. Liked visiting. Enjoyed snuggling with their dog Abby. Took turns providing dinner. Still mostly staying home except for occasional errands or walks or hikes (short ones). And doing the best I can.***

-----

Footnotes:

* He and I both work from home. She is practicing being retired.

** I don't watch things on television. Normally maybe once or twice a year. But, not even movies mostly on my TV. So UnAmerican!

*** T-shirt from the Holderness Family. I particularly like Finn's (the husband's) music video parodies. But their other skits and activities can be rousingly funny, too. And you'll often see them wearing their various t-shirts, which you, too, could buy from their site!  

[I don't know them; no reward will come my way. But I have had so much pleasure from their videos over the last nearly 1 1/2 years that I'm happy to point them out to you.]

More about the T-Shirt Project (Update)

T-shirt tales—Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Tell me more. or Read all t-shirt tales

SUMMARY: A couple things.

• I rearranged and added astonishingly useful links to this post: T-Shirt Tales Introduction. Take a look.

• I've also redesigned the astonishing t-shirt page banner (as above) to take up less space and give more astonishing useful link names--and will eventually apply it to all previous posts, too. Probably.
  
   (Sigh--I wish I could create a macro that would just reference the appropriate HTML so I wouldn't have to update it everywhere. Dream on...)
• In the process, I discovered my astonishingly random way of "consistently" titling these posts, so I might go back and fix them the way my greedy little heart wants. I won't change the current links, which means that you might not be able to invent a link to previous posts based on their titles. (I doubt anyone cares.)

Old banner:

T-shirt tales? Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Whaaaaat??

All T-Shirt Tales

T-Shirt Tuesday Tales: Apparently Movies Aren't My Big Thing

T-shirt tales—Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Tell me more. or Read all t-shirt tales

SUMMARY: Not a guilty pleasure. But then, once, I gave in.

Remember my unduly long post from a month ago,  T-Shirt Tuesday Tales: My Guilty Reading Pleasure...? The first-ever guilty pleasure t-shirt that I can recall buying about a book--or about anything, for that matter?

So, abandoning all hope at a good segue, here I am to discuss 50 Shades of Gray. Which, back in 2011, I had hoped would be a guilty pleasure. But the book--erk. Couldn't stand another word after about the 3rd chapter. Ever. My curiosity completely extinguished. And I didn't even feel guilty about it (see what I did there?).

But then they made a movie. And you know how I am about movies.

Screen Rant Pitch Meetings, three years ago, showed how the Pitch Meeting for the three Gray movies probably went. I loved the post back then, and I just stumbled across it again. So I watched it again and said:

I might have commented 3 years ago, but since these movies are some of my "favorites" and Pitch Meeting definitely highlighted some of their highlights, I'm commenting again.  

(1) I tried to read the book but my brain imploded by about chapter 3 and I never wanted to try again. 

(2) I figured the movie couldn't possibly be as bad as the book, so on a dull weekend when I had seen all other movies that were playing, some of them more than once, I went to this one.  Turns out I was wrong. So so so so horrifically wrong.  

(3) When the 2nd movie came out, a couple of critics said that both actors had improved since the first one, and for some inexplicable reason, probably brain damage from the 1st one I decided, I went to see it, too. I'm so so so so sorry, everyone, for tossing my money their way for content that would be lucky to ever be elevated to even "pure junk" and I regret every penny even though it was a discount matinee. So-- 

(4) --you nailed it again. Thank you, Pitch Meeting!

Therefore, Gray never became a guilty pleasure and I never (duh!) bought a t-shirt for either the book or the movie. (I'm glad, because my Captive Prince guilty pleasure is so so so so much better. IMHO.)  

In fact--to use another poor excuse of a segue--to the best of my recollection, I had never bought a t-shirt for a movie or movie characters at all, ever.  Until last year when, apparently, I started buying "first-ever" t-shirts.

 And it's because of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Loved. Those. Movies. Saw most more than once. And yet, couldn't find a shirt that rang my bell until I found this one. It particularly appealed because I've often commented about how, maybe, if some of those female characters had been prominent when I was a kid, maybe I'd have grown up not quite wishing I were Batman so much. And about how lucky girls are now, to have these movie characters.

... And I strongly recommend that no girls use the heroine in 50 Shades as a role model. What a milquetoast, idiotic, poor excuse of a character. 

IMHO.

All are characters from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Black Widow.
Captain Marvel. Valkyrie.
The Wasp. Pepper Potts. Mantis. Gamora.
Scarlet Witch. Nebula. Okoye. Shuri.

Appendix: 

Me hangin' with my favorite buds... because my real guilty pleasure here is that I have crushes on most of the male characters (Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston (not included here), Chris Pratt (ditto), Benedict Cumberbatch (ditto))... I mean, who wouldn't?

T-Shirt Tuesday Tales: My Guilty Reading Pleasure...

T-shirt tales—Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Tell me more. or Read all t-shirt tales

SUMMARY: ... pronounced "obsession".

Posted on Tumblr April 19, 2021. Written primarily for others in the world of fan fiction and particularly fans of these specific books...

Ack! I missed my Captive Prince anniversary date (3/16/20). 

Title: My Captive Prince   (and AO3 and Tumblr and reading and writing and fanfic and......)  History  (roughly reconstructed): The long version

• [Read about the t-shirt somewhere below...]

Reading background before CP:

• My whole life: Reading reading reading. Owning thousands of books, a large part sci fi/fantasy. Two bookcases full of books yet unread. Subscription to Asimov’s magazine, my favorite. And more.
• fiction with “real” sex: had read a few gratuitous not well-written paperbacks, when bored back in the ‘70s. Never wanted to read more.
• fan fiction: had read only a few amateur things, not well-written, I think Star Trek, in the mid-’80s [yes, on paper]. Never wanted to read more.
• Encountered OTP and “slash” terms maybe 2010, read a couple--shrug. “Just more fan fiction.” Never wanted to read more.
• Romance fiction: Might have read 3 or 4 dozen over the years. Most I didn’t like or even gave up in the  middle because of not good writing or plotting.

Writing background:

Started pursuing fiction writing in mid-’80s, attended conferences and lectures and a year in a weekly critiquing class at a local JC, and started a writers’ group [in person, yes] and participated for years with my own things. Sent out story after story to markets--lots of rejections, but then started getting higher and higher awards in the Writers of the Future competition and some *nice personalized* rejections from editors. 

Drove to Idaho from CA for a week-long writing workshop in1995.  In 1998, spent 6 weeks in Seattle at Clarion West.  I sold a couple of short stories and a poem to paying markets (pro and semipro). Then I discovered dog agility in 1996 and somehow that led to the end of  my writing pursuits, to which I had devoted most of my attention for 15 years. Doh. But, still: Books. Fiction. Writing.

Footnote: Also started this blog to be about my dogs in dog agility. Pffft.

(Now I've done no agility since 2014. Nor writing since 1998...  but wait for it...)

Early March, 2020: Finding images. Pandemic!  While using Google image search for something like “captive prince chains”--Don’t ask--amazed and surprised how many images came up.  Kept searching and searching for days--so many cool images! Including the Japanese cover for this book. Which hit all the right buttons for me. 

March 16, 2020: Ordered the book Eventually it became clear, aha! the book is titled Captive Prince. Jackpot! Because I...was searching for captive princes... don’t ask. I read the synopsis, looked possible, and ordered only the first and only as an e-book. Because--what if it’s as badly written as 50 Shades of Gray? Or worse?

March 16/17, 2020: Reading reading reading can't stop! OMG it matched so so so many things in my own internal fictional world!  and a bonus: amazing UST from the beginning, too. That I never knew that I even needed to have in fiction. OK, then.

Footnote: My internal fictional world: Hrm. might or might not ever discuss.

March 18, 2020: Ordered the next 2 ebooks as fast as my fingers could fly.

March 19, 2020: Fourth book! Desperate for more Captive Prince or other works by the author. ...Desperate barely begins to describe it. And then I found The Summer Palace and Other Stories. fourth book in the group. Ordered as an ebook. Read that, too.

March 20, 2020: Images like crazy. OMG searching again. Started collecting links to many many many of the online fan art, now that I knew what was going on. And so much of it excellent ... (but this was just fan stuff; how could it be excellent? do artists do this sort of thing just for fun?)...

And started reading the series again. And again. And again. And again and again and....  [link, brief mention at the beginning] then, reading things I started finding on Tumblr, and then...

April 22, 2020: Joined AO3. Because a link to this came up in Tumblr and it caught me; I wanted to read more. Fanfiction?! Writing quite good--storytelling, too [not the same thing]. How could that be? Do good writers do this sort of thing just for fun? This one, a modern AU (alternative universe) playing out the same three novels, yet keeping true to the original characters and story arc.

Footnote: Not sure whether readers would enjoy these fictions 

nearly as much if they haven't already read the CP originals. However, whatever.

April 23, 2020: Tumblr and Twitter. I’ve had accounts for years, but have barely done anything in either--mostly just following links. On this day, I sent an online junkie friend a request for help in how to find people and things in both places because I was struggling and craving more art and more fiction and it had become clear that the world veritably teems with Captive Prince artifacts.

Footnote: Friend is not a drug junkie. She's an online junkie of sorts.

Most of Spring and Summer 2020: Reading more and more fanfic AND learning SO much about fanfic and about the vocabulary for that and for M/M fiction and for sex-related things and how to use and navigate AO3...so much to learn.

Footnote: The m/m fiction essay was written by a friend who is also quite a successful author. No self-publishing here that I'm aware of. A smart woman; always has been. I found it, as a writer, to be interesting on its own subject (who's qualified to write what).

May 4, 2020: My first Tumblr comment.  Have been reading CaPri fanfic voraciously for a few weeks, and finding more in Tumblr. No interest in commenting; I just wanted to read and stay anonymous. Might have clicked Kudos. Or not. But on this date, I posted my first comment to someone's post. Somewhat reluctantly, because I wasn’t interested in discourse. But the fiction was so good. My 2nd comment on something wasn’t until July 2. After that, commented regularly.

May 7, 2020: Clothing! Found Forest Elf Fancies artist! And asked for this custom t-shirt from his existing Vere and Akielos designs.  (Never have I had t-shirts for characters from specific fiction among the 250-ish that I remember ever having in my greedy little hands.)

 May 18: Arrived!  Yowza! I am all in now.  ...As if full immersion, week after week, of nothing but Damen of Akielos and Laurent of Vere didn't already have me all in.

Yes, it's a selfie of me in a mirror,
reflected in a mirror again.

July 16, 2020: AO3 bookmarking. On this date, I created my first AO3 bookmark--a bunch, actually, probably of things I’d read. Erk, I'm falling unwillingly/willingly into another universe and community. Resented it a bit, but still--wanted to be able to re-find the stories.

On Tumblr, unknown 2020 date: "Follow"ed my first person. Wasn’t ever going to do more than a few, because: I already have FaceBook, thank you very much. 

Footnote: As of April 19, 2021, I’m following 37 people, almost all of whom post frequently related to CaPri.

Unknown 2020 date: started reblogging tumblr posts from others. Fiction, images, links, comments, quotes, observations, all about Captive Prince. Partially to share, partially to keep my favorites in my Tumblr feed for easier retrieval.

Footnote: As of April 20 '21, I have reblogged over 200 items-- so, not quite as quick-retrieval as I had envisioned way back then.

The rest of 2020: Reading reading reading AO3 and Tumblr related to CapRi. My other reading life slammed to a halt back in March. How is there such good writing so many times in fan fiction? How is there so much good sex? Forget about all those hundreds of unread books I already own--

Around January 1, 2021: Tumbler participation. Gulp. First added a comment to a discussion on Tumblr. Don't want the discourse! Leave me alone!

Around January 14, 2021: First posted an original thing (a short observation) on Tumblr. Started posting like this more often. Maybe weekly on average? OMG started plotting Captive Prince stories in my head! I’m too busy for this sort of thing! Don’t give in! Feb 12, 2021: Apparently I gave in. Posted my first original short fiction on Tumblr. Although it's written as a prequel to another writer's short fic. Have done two more since.  Plus, observations (like this one), discourse...  

Am I ...  writing? ... fiction? What could possibly be next?

The Akielon Lion. Banner of the ancient-Greek-like Akielos, home of the Okton (sport of kings)
 and of Damianos (Damen), crown prince.
(Should be gold on red, but since t-shirts are only one color...) 

The gold starburst on blue of the Crown Prince of 14th-century-France-ish Vere, Laurent,
who makes an ally at castle Chastillon,
home of the finest hunting for "sanglier,
a northern breed that was larger, with longer tusks on the male."

Tuesday T-Shirt Tales: Sleeping Beauty Castle

T-shirt tales? Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Whaaaaat??

All T-Shirt Tales

SUMMARY: My favorite castle(s).

So much for posting weekly. Or even monthly. I'll just have to post multiples per post. --Which I had planned on doing anyway. Like, this week.

Short and simple: I like Disneyland. (And, OK, Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom aka Disneyland East is OK, too.) I like far too many Disneyland t-shirts: The quality of the shirt itself and of the image is always excellent. I try to restrain myself, but sometimes...

In the 1980s sometime--and I've oddly lost almost all info about this--my then-husband bought us matching Disneyland castle t-shirts. They were blue with yellow castles. Because who doesn't want Disneyland castle t-shirts?  The only reason that I know that he did is because my faithful inventory notes that he did so, and also that we sold them at a garage sale in 1998, so presumably we'd had them and worn them a lot by then. No photos exist--Crazy, right?!--nor date of purchase, although I'm guessing on our 1983 trip there. 

But, in August 1995, before that garage sale...

... I just couldn't pass up this additional castle shirt in gray with embroidered design. 
I'm a sucker for embroidered shirts, anyway: Look classy and don't fade.
But having this newer one might have been why we let the old blue/yellow ones go.

I have almost no photos of me wearing my t-shirts in the actual locations and time in which I bought them,
but this is one of the exceedingly rare cases. Maybe even the only one.
Me, my sister's years-ago-ex and my years-ago-ex. But we all loved Disneyland trips.

And then, despite already having a lovely gray Disney castle t-shirt--

--in July of 2003, while minding my business walking casually through Disneyland,
someone strolled past in the opposite direction wearing an amaaazing blue tie-dyed castle shirt!
Hit all my buttons, will ya? Blue. Tie-dye. Castle.
We went shopping later that day and found them! Happy dance!

In May of 2012, it took me and my parents to a friend's house to watch the partial solar eclipse.
It's a thoughtful t-shirt that way.

By the early 2000s, my t-shirt buying spree overall had truly taken off, so my t-shirts lasted longer and longer because I didn't wear any given one all that often.  As a result, today, I still have both these shirts and wear them when their turns come up. 

During these Pandemic times and unprecedented closures of the Disney parks, they help remind me of pleasures past and--I hope--to come.

Bonus: Some photos from the trips mentioned:

• September 1983
• August 1995
• July 2003 -- oops, fell into the "scanned earlier photos" and the "started digital photos" gap

Tshirt Tuesday Tales: Doggone Good and Cabana Crates and All Those Things

T-shirt tales? Because every t-shirt tells a story, don't it.
And I have so very many of them. Shirts. And stories. ---- Whaaaaat??

All T-Shirt Tales

SUMMARY: Early crate innovator and supplier of so many things Dog.

Way back when I started agility. 1996? 1997? One competitor, Elizabeth Hyenga, another local like me, invented a lightweight, very sturdy, foldable crate so that we didn't all need to haul around heavy xpens or heavy foldable wire crates or bulky not-foldable VariKennel crates. She called them Cabana Crates. At first, she sold them under her business name of Doggone Good! straight to locals at trials. With every batch she made (she worked with a manufacturer who actually made them), she improved the design, which I admired. 

I started agility life with only an x-pen (exercise pen), late 1995. For Remington: Tall, heavy, awkward. Because who wants to leave their dog in a tiny ol' crate all day long at events?! But Remington taught me a lesson about that (see tomorrow's post...after it's posted), which brought me to understanding about crates. Still, her crates were pricey and I already had the x-pen. At some point, I became aware of Cabana Crates and I believe that I already knew Elizabeth and her Corgi, and I figured that, if I were to ever buy a crate, that would be my choice. Luxury AND pretty colors.

After Jake joined me, at events I put Remington and him into the same x-pen. Which worked for exactly 3 competition weekends, and then a big fight at the onset of the fourth such weekend propelled me to buy my first-ever crate (also see tomorrow's post), a Cabana Crate of course. on the spot: Gorgeous teal and purple, exactly my colors! Sized for Remington!

A splurge. On a thing for a dog. That we'd use only on agility weekends, pft, surely there wouldn't be that many (hahahahaha little did I know...). I think it was about $160, which in 2021 would be $255. Huge expenditure. (Compare to now, when I can buy a large wire crate for under $50. And folding soft crates for a lot  lot lot less than that. A huge splurge.)

But I liked it so much that I eventually bought a smaller one for Jake, ditching that huge heavy awkward nasty x-pen-- and then another when Boost came along.  

Tika sitting and looking out the front, Boost in the middle sitting and looking out the back,
and Jake lying down and looking out the front.

Back to DoggoneGood. 

Elizabeth started the business largely because she needed something that she could do from home while raising a young child instead of working for someone else, somewhere else.  When her crates and her bait bags sold well, she branched out into other cool things for dogs, and eventually moved her business into a warehouse and online, and a couple times a year held an open house at the warehouse where you didn't have to order through the web. Very popular events. And she ensured quality materials and quality products, so she did a lot of business. (I swear that I once took photos at the event, but I haven't found them yet--might be just film still--)

Her warehouse was just up the road from where I live now. Of course I attended them all and came away with handfuls of things each time. 

Like more Riot Tugs (because will all that tugging, they'd wear out!). Purple of course! To match the crates! Boost loved them and Tika liked them. That was our go-to warm-up tug toy while waiting for my run, not too close to the ring. (Not sure that they were around when I was competing with Jake, but maybe.)

Or bait bags (purple, of course). Lots of books  and videos on dog training. Lots of other fun toys. Lots and lots and lots. Like the bikini chicken. Who wouldn't want one of these sweethearts?!  (Apparently they are no longer made? Such a loss of a cultural icon.)

Or gear bags of various sizes (I think they came only in black). She carried other brands, like Outward Hound, but made some, too--just don't have a photo at the moment.  

Dog-related craft supplies. Dog treats. Dog training gear. Smaller agility-related items. And on and on.

Ad from 2004

One time, at a huge Bark In The Park event near downtown San Jose, still pretty early in my agility career, I wore one of her bait bags on my belt, and realized after I'd wandered around a lot among the hundreds of people and dogs and activities and booths allllll over the park that I no longer had the bag, because the bag had slipped off  its clip (still on my belt). Figured it was lost.  I walked by her booth on the way out--and she called to me--not only had someone returned it to her booth, but she knew whose it was (because I had bought it from her, of course, at some point in the past, and she knew I was here and there weren't likely to be a lot of agility people there), AND she had added a new clip, and furthermore glued it in so securely that it has never come out again. No charge.

One time, I dropped by her warehouse in desperate need of something, and we chatted, and then she handed me this t-shirt. For being a good customer.

Sadly for me, sometime in the last few years, she sold the business and they no longer have the huge variety, just the some bags and clickers.  And sadly for me, I think that all 3 of my Cabana Crates have been damaged by dogs and it's almost as pricey to have them fixed as to buy one of the many copy-cats or evolved designs offered by others now, so many varieties. In fact, I bought 2. Which Chip and Zorro have damaged already--they have no experience in waiting in crates. :-(  

So now I have 5 soft crates that aren't particularly usable at events. Because I can't bear giving up those early ones.

But I remember her and those days fondly.  

I wore that shirt at a trial in Sonora on the day that Jake finished his NADAC championship, the first championship I had ever earned with a dog.

Just a few obstacles away from a NATCH.
And I have *no* idea what that hand signal meant. Typical.

NOW go see tomorrow's related post.