Looking back at a long-gone marriage

SUMMARY: How I felt then, how I feel now, what came between.

Source: Nover 23, 2025 Nextdoor response to a woman who has just divorced.

My parents lived to celebrate their 62nd anniversary. I always thought that my life would be like that, too, but we split after 20 years (25 years ago). Other people's anniversaries both delight me because they're a sign of affection and commitment and ways that things can work, but at the same time, for example, when friends celebrated their 40th, I have to have a few minutes to myself to mourn what was, and then put myself right back into my lovely life that I would never have had otherwise. 

By the time we split, I was so tired of the what we went through that the next day dawned bright and sunny (no idea whether it really was, but it felt like it). Not to say that I didn't spend many evenings off and on for months bawling my head off. I still occasionally get hit with a reminder of the grief that it didn't work out, and for the good times that we did have, but also by the time we split, I was done. I asked my trusted doctor for a counseling recommendation, and she helped me more than words can describe. I saw her maybe weekly for probably 3 months. It's not for everyone, and I'm pretty independent, but it helped me get over the initial intense grief and sorrow. And put me into a much happier life.

I mean, divorce is very similar to losing a loved one to death, and everyone reacts differently. But in either case, the grief isn't likely to vanish in just a day; more real expectation is that you'll find it fading, and every once in a while, needing a few moments (or more) when it sneaks in again. This is completely normal.

Also since then I have done so much traveling, and I can have as many dogs as I want ;-) and furnish and decorate my home the way I want and schedule my day the way I want and I do thrive on this. And I remember that my divorce was by no means the world rejecting me and I treasure friends and family even more. 

I always thought I'd remarry eventually, but it has now been longer apart than we were married, and I just haven't encountered anyone that fit the bill. I love being independent. I have a number of friends who divorced at about the same timeframe who have found new life-long companions, and they're pretty happy, too. 

Wherever your life leads from here,I hope for a long, happy, healthy experience in everything.  

If you want, you can search online for "how to survive divorce" or whatever. There are also books available. I like this particular page for no-nonsense, clear, short bullet points. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/how-to-survive-divorce-15-tips-to-getting-through-it/

Me (left) and sister with the ones who didn't work out for us:
Breakfast at Disneyland.

Me (right) and sister with the one who worked out for her.
Breakfast at Disneyland.
Who needs the losers??

Peninsula living

SUMMARY: Ferries

As I post most of my life to Facebook, I periodically think, I should repost it here every time it's something I want to remember, because I have much more control over the content here than I do on Facebook. Probably anyway.

I intend to do a better job all the time. And you see how well that has turned out. So, expect some random stuff while I try very hard to get back into blogging mode. NOTE ABOUT READERS iSUBSCRIBING HERE: I think there's a way to set it up with some service or other. I might have to pay for it. TBD.

For today: being on a peninsula means being surrounded by water on most sides. Which affects transportation options. Between the Olympic peninsula (where I am living) and the "mainland"--such as the biggest city of Seattle – – there are no bridges. Just a variety of ferries.

This past weekend, one of the ferries across the Puget Sound into Seattle lost power partway through the 60 minute trip (at about 18 miles an hour) and ran aground in the mud, thank goodness it was that simple. It took hours for them to evacuate the passengers. And they couldn't get their cars until they towed the ferry at high tide back to some dock the following day.

Ferries are the only way around to get from one side of Puget Sound to the other. Other than driving all the way to the south end where the Tacoma Narrows Bridge is and then drive back up the other side.

I kept thinking about all the people who were on the ferry to pick up someone at SeaTac (the big airport) or to catch an airplane there or had tickets to a show or more urgent things.  And that boat will be out of service until they can figure out why it lost power and repair any damage that it might have suffered, although it sounds like there wasn't much.

The truth is that the Seattle ferries are apparently ancient and sadly in need of replacing, let alone upgrading and repairs, even more let alone needing more ferries. But, at least, when a ferry becomes unavailable like this, there are other ferries in service doing other routes that will get you to where you want to go, even if it takes a little longer.

Map of ferry routes. For scale, from port Angeles to Victoria is over an hour and a half. From Port Townsend to Keystone is an hour. Note that you usually needt to be there at least half an hour before your scheduled departure time or you might not make it onto the next ferry. ...also note Sequim, where I live now.