My parents lived to celebrate their 62nd anniversary. I always thought that my life would be like that, too, but we split after 20 years (25 years ago). Other people's anniversaries both delight me because they're a sign of affection and commitment and ways that things can work, but at the same time, for example, when friends celebrated their 40th, I have to have a few minutes to myself to mourn what was, and then put myself right back into my lovely life that I would never have had otherwise.
By the time we split, I was so tired of the what we went through that the next day dawned bright and sunny (no idea whether it really was, but it felt like it). Not to say that I didn't spend many evenings off and on for months bawling my head off. I still occasionally get hit with a reminder of the grief that it didn't work out, and for the good times that we did have, but also by the time we split, I was done. I asked my trusted doctor for a counseling recommendation, and she helped me more than words can describe. I saw her maybe weekly for probably 3 months. It's not for everyone, and I'm pretty independent, but it helped me get over the initial intense grief and sorrow. And put me into a much happier life.
I mean, divorce is very similar to losing a loved one to death, and everyone reacts differently. But in either case, the grief isn't likely to vanish in just a day; more real expectation is that you'll find it fading, and every once in a while, needing a few moments (or more) when it sneaks in again. This is completely normal.
Also since then I have done so much traveling, and I can have as many dogs as I want ;-) and furnish and decorate my home the way I want and schedule my day the way I want and I do thrive on this. And I remember that my divorce was by no means the world rejecting me and I treasure friends and family even more.
I always thought I'd remarry eventually, but it has now been longer apart than we were married, and I just haven't encountered anyone that fit the bill. I love being independent. I have a number of friends who divorced at about the same timeframe who have found new life-long companions, and they're pretty happy, too.
Wherever your life leads from here,I hope for a long, happy, healthy experience in everything.
If you want, you can search online for "how to survive divorce" or whatever. There are also books available. I like this particular page for no-nonsense, clear, short bullet points. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/how-to-survive-divorce-15-tips-to-getting-through-it/
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| Me (left) and sister with the ones who didn't work out for us: Breakfast at Disneyland. |
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| Me (right) and sister with the one who worked out for her. Breakfast at Disneyland. Who needs the losers?? |
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