I Am A Member of a Persecuted Minority

SUMMARY: And it hurts, and has hurt as long as I can remember. Please stop it.

In today's climate of increasing racial disparagement in our country, I have something to say. Whether deliberate or unconscious, the biases that come from long exposure to the idea that, because some group is different from us, they are therefore inferior causes pain and harm.

I can't claim to be in one of the groups who suffers the most (although, as a woman, I've encountered my share of men who think I'm therefore inferior). But, still, I am in a minority in this country, and two words are used against me over and over and over . I have argued against it when people say it in my presence. People just laugh. I believe that the prevalence of this two-word phrase has likely cost me and millions of others the ability to be taken seriously in work, activities, and life.

Don't tell me it's just a joke. Words hurt. And I hate hate hate this. Why do people think I'm joking when I say this?

Only about 5% of Americans fall into my group.

There is a similarly classified 5% of Americans who are not stereotyped and denigrated in the same way.

Can you guess? Here I am throughout my life.



If that isn't enough info, here I am with family and friends. I'm wearing the brown jacket.

Yes, I'm blonde. I have never dyed or bleached my hair. It has darkened as I've aged, and now it depends on how much time I spend outside without a hat (not so much any more) and on how the light hits it. But, blonde.

Try a quick google search for these phrases:

• "Dumb redhead" or "dumb ginger": Redheads make up about the same percentage of the population, but for them: 15,000. (They're stereotyped, too, but not for being dumb.)
• "Dumb brunette": About 80,000 occurrences. 
• "Dumb blonde": Over 3,000,000. That's 40 times more often than for brunettes. 

It hurts. I'm not dumb. None of the blondes I've ever known have been any dumber than anyone else, and I feel that sometimes we have to be smarter than everyone else simply to be accepted as "maybe not dumb".

It hurts. It angers me. It has a real effect on people's lives. Read this.

I wish that people understood that other people are also -- people.  The way they look has No. Damn. Relevance. To that fact.   Makes me sad. And angry. And very afraid at the turn this country has taken. Every little step in the right direction can help to take us out of this. And dismissing my feelings and experiences, or dismissing those of any other group, is not a step in the right direction.

Think. Listen. Speak up.

The ink is black, the page is white...

SUMMARY: Because I want to be able to wear any color clothing and still have it be clear that I live with dogs.

Backfill: (Repost from Facebook yesterday)

Chip's Grizzled Face

SUMMARY: Comparing a year apart.

I don't really have good photos of Chip from the side, for comparing the white in his black muzzle and chin. Here's the best I can do, and I don't see much difference.

Three years old:

Four years old:

Of Dragons and Broomsticks and Grieving, Oh My

SUMMARY: Bittersweet dog hair.

Everything in my home and my life is anchored with nano-thin strands to my brain or my heart, or both. The threads hang loosely most of the time, and I never know when one will be yanked and the pain hits and the tears come.

Sometimes in the silliest and most bittersweet ways.

I hardly ever take Chip anywhere. We used to go everywhere. This morning when he went outside with me while I got the newspaper (tears still, every morning, because Boost isn't getting it), he saw a neighbor open their car door and raced over to try to get in. Darn it, we never go anywhere. I no longer have a dog with a reliable recall. Darn it darn it darn it.

After that, I swept the kitchen and the stairs, for the first time since just after Boost died. So--6 weeks. Used to be that granules of dirt and crud accrued rapidly under the two PVC beds in the kitchen, forming a textured carpet of filth on the floor in the exact rectangular shape of the bed. Sometimes every couple of days I'd be so horrified by the grunge that I'd grab the hand vac just to clean under the beds.

Dog hair used to rain down; it formed puddles of fur in the corners of every step on the two staircases, along underneath the fronts of all the cabinets, all across the floor and the corners of the rooms and under the chairs... Sweeping once a week wasn't really enough, but I'd be lucky to get it done half as often, and then sweeping created mountains of fur in multiple locations for scooping and hand-vac-ing, all filling half a wastebasket at least.

Tika drooled at the drop of a food, her whole life. So the areas on the floor of the kitchen where she'd sit and wait while I put the food bowls down, or where she'd hang out by the counter as someone prepared any kind of food. became spotted and smeared and filthy and gross and had to be mopped regularly.

The kitchen floor as a whole easily displayed dirty swaths that demonstrated easily the paths that the dogs took in and out and around.

Today, after 6 weeks:
A bare handful of hair after sweeping everything.
Hardly a speck of dust beneath the PVC beds.
A few random dirty spots here and there on the kitchen floor.

You'd think I'd be happy about the lack of mess, but no: I bawled. Chip moved in and let me lean my head on his shoulder.

And this, in my head:

Boost and Tika doggies lived by the sea
And frolicked in the big back yard in a land called Honalee.
Together they would travel in a van with billowed sail.
Tika kept a lookout next to Booster's white-tipped tail.
One gray night it happened: Boost and Tika came no more.
And MUTT MVR the minivan it closed its rear hatch door.

And on the morning after April Fools Day--

SUMMARY: We discover this--

 --and this--

Blue hair streaks was not enough

SUMMARY: Ta-da!

Everyone on FB said about the blue, "Where's the purple?" So.

At the Groomer's

SUMMARY: Actually at home in our driveway.

I am not a dedicated dog bather or brusher. Dogs usually get rinsed down with the hose if they're muddy. Bathed only if they get into something particularly awful (I typed "offal" originally, probably apt) that won't rinse off. They often get hosed down on warm days when they're exercising heavily (e.g., agility). But that's it--their coats remain pretty clean; dirt brushes off.

I live with hair everywhere when they're shedding, which sometimes seems like "always." When they look too scraggly, I'll spend half an hour brushing them, but my excuse is that, with my current knees and back, it's not comfortable for me to do much more than that. And it barely makes a dent, despite the pile of fur that can accrue.

I found out just a couple of weeks back that Tika's foster mom has started a mobile dog-grooming business, Campi's Mobile Pet Services (she has a facebook page but not a regular web site yet).

Since I hadn't seen her in ages and my dogs' coats were just too embedded with an overstock of fur, I decided, what the heck, and made an appointment for her to groom my dogs.

So, yesterday evening, the Merle Girls had their first pro groomings EVAH!

Tika, of course was absolutely delighted to see Gina again. (I took a video but it didn't turn out well, so here's a frame from that.)

I had no idea how they'd react to the grooming--being held in a standing position on the grooming table, and bathed, and blow-dried, and brushed enthusiastically...

But they were both absolute angels! No struggling or fighting or complaining... mostly... Didn't much like the part about getting wet, but didn't struggle much, either. Just looked SOOOO pathetic while wet, hoping for mercy or a quick death.

Tika looks like a hefty dog with her puffy coat, but when she's wet, you can see (a) how slender she really is and (b) all the tan in her coat that's usually mostly hidden by the black and gray tips!

I stood around, feeding them treats regularly, and Gina was so calm and in control that I think it made them calmer, too.

The blow-drying went very well indeed. Both dogs even seemed to enjoy parts of it, and you could see their coats becoming beautiful right before your eyes. That is, if your eyes weren't blinded by the fur flurries coming out of Tika's coat and coating everything, leaving a 6-inch carpet of fur on the floor that floated up with every movement.

I don't exaggerate much. Should've taken photos of THAT. Gina had to stop twice during Tika's drying/brushing and vacuum the whole floor.

Here are two Boost blow-dry shots.

And the results--don't know whether you can see it, but to me, these look like entirely new dogs. And they are SOOOO soft! And their coats are so even (no random attempts at shedding sticking out everywhere).  But the event tired us all out, too, and we slept well last night.

Please don't ever do this to us again.

PLEASE!

Results from Last Weekend

SUMMARY: Yes we went off and did agility.

My new ambitious training plan slid almost to a standstill last week and this. Just the usual, hard to find time and energy to get up and go do what must be done at locations other than my back yard.

Still, there was one class (Steeplechase round 1) where we had to get over a series of jumps straight across the entire width of the field. Normally she'd have turned back to me. This time, she kept going...with a little hesitation, but she did it! So, one small success for womankind.

We added another useless pairs Q and another useless Plain Old Snooker Q to our Q counts, and nothing else out of 11 classes.

Another real heartbreaker (for me) on the 2nd Snooker--had she just gone over one more jump, it would've been our SuperQ. One. Jump. One! But no, she decided it was time to look at me and run past it instead. [pauses now to tear hair and rend clothing].

On the other hand, that's two competition weekends in a row where we've come within an obstacle of completing it, so MAYBE we're making progress.

On the third hand, we had several runs where all the wheels came off, you know, running past jumps left and right until I didn't even know where I was any more.

Weave poles were excellent except for one set of the 2 in the steeplechase, which she missed the entry on and then, after correction, popped out; and one set of the 2 in the gamblers opening, which she missed the entry on...twice!..and then, after correction, popped out. I really have no grasp on why all the other weaves were gorgeous and these weren't. Dang dog brains.

Still--she's a beautiful, sweet, momma's dog whom I love to be around and who loves to work!

And Tika got to hang out again, have hunks of her hair pulled out by her mom (I despair of ever brushing her enough, so it's easier just to grab wads that are sticking out and gentle wiggle them out of her coat,  although she doesn't like that too much).

Boost *DID* win a nifty collapsing water bowl in the worker raffle, along with a year's free dog washes at the Turlock dog wash--the latter of which I donated back to the raffle, since I'm in turlock only 3 or 4 times a year and am not likely to spend the time to get my dog washed while there. Although it was tempting. "Gee, it's the weekend and I have nothing to do, guess I'll drive 2 hours out to Turlock to wash my dog."

And, so, we're going to do it all again this weekend, in Morgan Hill, so at least I get a nice short 20 minute drive home in the evening instead of doing a hotel or driving for an hour.

And that's our last trial that I'm planning on for this year, until February, even, so that's our last chance to get that danged SuperQ.  Don't know, if we don't get it but are close, whether I'd change my mind and go up to the north bay for a trial or two, but I'd rather not so I probably won't.

Isn't it nice to have solid plans like that?

Other plans for December include the Dickens Faire, maybe Disneyland again, and, hmm, well, maybe Christmas.

Springtime Lament

SUMMARY: A hairy situation

Sing today's song to the tune of "Darling Clementine."

Oh my darling
   shedding canines
   there is dog fur everywhere!
I am sweeping
   every hour
   'cause you won't retain your hair.

From Head to Foot

SUMMARY: Glasses and insoles. And hair, mustn't forget the hair.

As I reported a couple of weeks ago, I've got this annoying pain in the metatarsal/phalangeal joint.  I hate shopping for shoes. But, in the interest of lessening the pain and helping the healing, I went shopping for stiff-soled shoes. Which of course required walking walking walking around a huge mall on my sore foot. And to no avail: found that pretty much everything that was really stiff and don't bend much came in one of two flavors: Army Boot or Nurse Ratched. I thought that my brown men's Merrell's, which I wear a lot because they're quite comfy, were pretty stiff--

--until the podiatrist showed (as I reenact here) that they were merely "OK" (his word) in the bendy department.

That's why I went shopping. BUT not only were the selections not pretty,  the prices were also downright ugly. So I returned home to check out what I already have. My black women's Merrell's--a different fit, slightly smaller and tighter--but cooler looking because they're, duh, black, which is inherently cool--turn out to have much stiffer soles. Interesting. They did not want to bend at all. Score one for cool black Merrell's. Boost likes them, too.

So, what else do I already have around? Ignoring hiking boots for now, how about my 3 pairs of New Balance "tennis shoes". Worn but not worn out; dirty from all the times I wore them for hiking and agility and yard work and EVERYTHING until about 3 years ago when I mostly started wearing Merrell-style shoes most of the time. Kept them for serious walking and athletic activities that didn't involve wet grass or mountains. So I still have them.

And, whoa, they also really do not want to bend! And a sudden brain flash--that's because, back in '97 when I had a stress fracture in one foot (same foot, turns out, different toe), the podiatrist (orthopedist?) told me to always buy stiff-soled shoes, so that's what I looked for when I shopped.

Meanwhile, my current podiatrist had suggested that I take my custom orthotics--again, dating from post-stress-fracture wayyy back then--and have them covered with a nice cross-training insole pad by an orthotics guy. So I took my familiar bluies and his prescription and dropped them off last week; have an appointment for a final fitting on Monday. Who knew it was so complicated?

So, so far, foot still hurts, trying not to do any walking or hiking, but still did agility class last night and it felt OK in my stiff-soled turf shoes, which also don't bend much at all.

MEANWHILE, nearly at the other end of my body, it came time for my biannual eye checkup and glasses replacement. So, a couple of weeks back, I went on in. Left eye, which has always been pretty good, remained pretty good. Right eye, which has been very gradually getting more nearsighted and would require a very thick lens if I were using normal plastic or glass, tricked me this time around and got slightly less nearsighted and slightly more farsighted. Which is apparently typical for, ugh, "older" people.

Then I had to shop.

I hate shopping for glasses. Normally I just try to replace the lenses in my existing frames, but this time they no longer make the same frames, so I'd have to leave my old frames with them to have the lenses made. Fergit that. So had to pick out new frames for regular glasses AND for sunglasses (have been without separate sunglasses for 2 years. That's enough of *that*.)

And it's SO. HARD. Here is one of three walls of frames. They all look almost the same but they all look terrible on me.

Come on, which pair of thick black plastic frames do you want for your sunglasses?

It's hopeless. I'm probably not really crying, but I could have been.

Fortunately, the optician assisting me managed to convince me that she knew what she was talking about in terms of things that looked good on me. She did so by agreeing with me on several pairs that I tried and hated. Then she went looking for various frames and brought them to me. I'd look in the mirror, she'd look at me in person, and we'd negotiate whether they would be going home with me or not.

I finally decided on this for the sunglasses. Not black. From a distance, might look that way, but actually just dark purple. And on the inside, they're blue! If there's anything that convinces me that something is of high quality, it's that they're blue and purple. Don't look at the price sticker. I sure didn't. Gasp.

Then we agreed on these for my regular glasses. I said, "ugh, bling." And she said, oh, really, not very much bling at all, it's very subtle. And this is also an experiment; I've never before had glasses with no frame on the lower half. Yes, from the earpiece to the nosepiece, it's just naked lens.

And, two weeks later, here are my old glasses:

Here are my new sunglasses--whoa, don't I look cool or what?! Just the thing to wear with black Merrell's.

And these are my new spectacles.

Lastly, a couple of weeks ago I finally got my hair fixed--something I do about every six months but it was way overdue this time. Because I hate having my hair permed. But I really like the results (as seen in the photos above) and I really like that it then becomes pretty much wash and wear. This is the really glamorous part of the process:

So now I'm all fixed up in all these various ways. Ready to face the world.

Invisible Fence Saved Our Siberian Husky

SUMMARY: My experience with the so-called invisible fence.

An "invisible fence" isn't really a fence at all. It's a transmitter attached to a wire that you place around the area in which you want to keep your dog (or to keep your dog out of). The dog wears a collar receiver that's a shock collar; if the dog gets within range of the wire, she gets a shock.

You don't just put the collar on the dog and wait for it to work. You train the dog by first putting up a visible indicator of the wire's range (kite string attached to stakes, for example). You walk with the dog on leash, and when you see the dog react to the shock, you immediately run with the dog into the yard where it's safe, and reward the dog for running back into the yard with you. You do this for a week or two, first with the visible indicator, then without it. It's time-consuming training; you never want the dog out in the yard without you there until they've learned the right reaction.

I refused to put something on my dog that I wouldn't try on myself. So I did: wrapped it around my bare arm and walked within range of the wire. Zap! Very startling, but didn't seem much more painful than when you get a really sharp static discharge on a dry day, walking across the carpet, and touching something metal.

The only reason I went for this option was because we tried for 6 years to keep our Siberian Husky in the yard (I won't bore you with the long list of all the things that we bought, installed, fixed, and/or methods we tried) and we finally put her up for adoption, only to realize on the night before handing her over that we couldn't do it. We needed another option, and I had recently heard about the Invisible Fence.

It succeeded much better than anything else. Her yard escapes reduces from nearly constant to almost never.  (We could also have built a kennel with a concrete pad and solid walls and a roof. I preferred the option of letting her roam the yard and house.)

Our yard was fenced but it was very large (half an acre). We attached the wire to the fence around most of the yard, and cut a groove through the driveway to install it under the pavement where it crossed the driveway.

Its major use is for yards that don't have fences--usually because the yard is huge and the cost of fencing is prohibitive, or the local CC&Rs don't allow fencing (we had a friend who lived in such an area back east).

In 1996, I sent a friend an email about some of the advantages to invisible fencing:

• It can be used inside a yard as well as around a yard, for example to keep the dogs out of the vegetable garden.
• It can be used around yards that are, for whatever reason, difficult to fence.
• It requires much less maintenance and is easier to install than a regular fence.
• It costs much less than a regular fence.
• It can be used  around fenced yards for dogs who are escape artists (our situation).
• Used with a regular fence, if your regular fence is damaged somehow (e.g., wind storm, rotting, whatever), it ensures that the dog won't get out before you notice the damage.
•  It works almost all the time--compared to all of our other methods and fences, none of which could ever be relied on to work. But we did use it in conjunction with a real fence.

I also noted that, like most solutions to behavioral issues, it is not without its caveats:

• You must train the dog to recognize that staying in the yard (or running *into* the yard when startled) is the safe and correct way to avoid the fence's correction. This is not a replacement for training, but a [very strong] supplement to it.
• You must regularly test the collar to be sure that the battery is functioning or simply replace the battery on a strict schedule (the Invisible Fence company has a battery-subscription plan where they simply send you a battery at some fixed interval!).
• You must monitor whether the wire that provides the "invisible" fence is intact and has power. Ours came with 2 lights that remain lit as long as these 2 things are ok.
• Densely coated dogs (like a Siberian Husky) have to have a small patch on their necks trimmed or shaved on a regular basis for the collar correction to work.
• Because she had to have it on 24 hrs a day "just in case", she occasionally developed small sores where the contacts rubbed on her neck and those needed care & prevention.
• A dog working under a lot of adrenaline can power right thru the fence barrier. In theory, the more they're trained at the beginning, the less they're inclined to try it, although Sheba figured out pretty quickly that, if the gate was left ajar, she could make a break for it and be gone. (And the dog might hesitate to *return* to the yard. If I knew that somehow Sheba had gotten out with the collar on--e.g. during a power failure when I wasn't home--I'd turn off the fence til she came back.)
• Intelligent dogs who like to escape will test the fence occasionally--we knew when we had neglected to shave the neck, replace the battery on a regular schedule, or check that the line was still working, because Sheba would vanish.
• It will not keep other things *out* of your yard, such as other dogs, and your dogs are then more or less trapped in your yard.
• If you forget to take the collar off when you put the dog into the car, and then drive the car over or near the fence, you are torturing your dog. I did this once. Gods, I felt awful!

For more on the down side, here's an interesting post, "The Illusions of Invisible Fencing," from someone who almost lost their dog who powered through an invisible fence (with no supplementary fencing) in front of a car.

The result, however, was that our dog was out roaming only on rare occasions; I spent so many sleepless nights before that, agonizing over whether she'd be hit by a car or we'd never see her again. It was amazing how often she left and yet we got her back again. We were very lucky. Our lives got so much better with her in the years after we installed the fence, and she lived to be 17.