Operating in an Entirely Different Frame of Reference

SUMMARY: Just try to get Boost doing agility.

This was one of those weekends where it felt like I was back at square two, and mostly it was OK to be there if only my back/leg didn't hurt so much.

Here's how it went:

• Masters Standard (22" Championship): Knocked a bar early on. Ran past a jump midcourse. Wouldn't do the weaves. Just couldn't get her into them until after we'd been VERY eliminated on refusals. Then she did only a few and popped out, so we just left the ring. I tried very hard to be hearty and cheerful. But it hurt when I walked.
• Masters Gamblers (16" Performance): Got lucky with the opening-- a big straight curve with nuthin' but contacts and tunnels, so we went out and back. And luckily the tunnels were at the outer corners, because I could barely hobble my way through part of the course, and I was able to send her to the tunnels, which gave her momentum to do the contacts in just a lovely way.  Didn't expect to get the gamble and didn't, although our timing was good and we were right where I wanted to be when the buzzer went to start the gamble.
• Masters Snooker (22" Ch): Enlisted a friend with whom we do quite a bit of hiking (Carson's & Hiker's Human Mom) to try running Boost. She ran her in class a few weeks back and Boost looked pretty good then. Today, The Booster was having none of it. Sort of trotted alongside, staring up at her. No actual running from the dog. Trotted past the first jump, then took it. Trotted past the Aframe, then took it. Took the next jump, trotted past the Aframe, then took it. Repeat a 3rd time. So in 50 seconds she did 3 jumps and 3 Aframes. But at least she didn't try to leave the ring. (I hid beforehand so she didn't know where I was.)
• Masters Jumpers (22" Ch): Enlisted another friend with whom we've done a lot and who even dogsat Boost (Human Mom of Bump, Dig, and Styx). Last time she tried, Boost did a few jumps and then raced out to find me. Today the friend worked hard at getting Boost riled up and irritated with generous treats (because Boost wouldn't play with either friend at all), and Boost actually ran half the course--not full-speed, but running rather than trotting. Ran past one jump in there, but continued. Still, as soon as the course turned back towards the starting gate, she ran off and came looking for me.
• Steeplechase (16" Pf): 2nd friend also tried running Boost here, with about the same results as in Jumpers. It's progress, but still she won't do a whole course with someone else outside of class.
• Masters Pairs (16" Perf): I scoped out the easy half of the course and decided that I could get Boost through it even if I were hobbling, and my Pairs partner (who was also limping from a gimpy knee) was game to let me try. We ran second and other than turning the wrong way a couple of times, Boost did great, even did the weaves perfectly. Our partner Eed on refusals on the harder half of the course, but no worries--allowed me to relax on my second half, and it's not like we need Pairs Qs really. But at least we had one decent run. 

But I hurt.

I did take Chip out a couple of times for maybe 15-20 minutes each time and worked on having him look at me when I said his name, trying a little bit of circle work with limited success, worked on getting him to play tug with me and stay on the toy, with fairly decent success.  His nose touch to a target is improving fairly rapidly now that I've been working on it almost daily at least a little.  We worked on his revamped Down (going front-first down rather than sit first), and he's pretty good but I do have to signal it clearly, so we need to wean off that. Practiced the down-stay and the sit-stay with fairly decent results (still not taking my eyes off of him, not getting farther away than I can catch him if he starts to get up). Let him hang out under the score table with me for a while (getting treats for paying attention and also scritches and affection) and he behaved very well.

I even risked putting him in the low x-pen with Boost for the last hour or so of the day (since he was starting to make a mess of Tika's soft crate, and it's the only good one that I have left plus the only teal/purple one left in the world) and he actually stayed in, even when Boost and Tika were away! (I hadn't really thought that he would.)

Tika got to come out with me a couple of times, too. Did some tricks, some exercises to strengthen her back legs, back, and core muscles, and then just hung around the score table getting treats and scritchies. Her cough wasn't too bad today but did show up from time to time. She did sort of perk up and trotted briefly after a frisbee a couple of times, but no actual running. Sigh. Old dogs.

If I hadn't been in pain most of the time, it wouldn't have seemed like too bad a day. Weather was sunnyish, downright balmy with a cooling breeze. Grass surface was lovely. Friends were sympathetic and helpful. Score table work went well. 

I took no photos, perhaps needless to say, as I just didn't want to move around that much.

Will try again tomorrow. Playing it by ear--or by back, I guess.

And Even Better Today

SUMMARY: Another Up period for Tika

Today was even better than yesterday-- Tika did things that I don't think she's done in many days, or even several weeks in some cases:

• Came to check out whether I was really awake in the morning (so often now, she just lies there, chin down, looking old and tired)
• BOUNDED down the stairs! Wow!
• Leaped into the air when I got out the leashes for a walk (well, maybe her back feet didn't quite leave the floor, but for quite a while she has just been sort of prancing quietly)
• Went on a brisk 2-mile walk before breakfast. Such a difference from just two days ago.
• Ate full meals of kibble both morning and evening.
• Ate all of her pill pockets, with the pills in them, morning and evening. (When feeling poorly, as in a few days ago, she just won't.)
• Virtually no coughing/hacking

And this is what my life with Tika has been like for months--from really bad days to really good days and everything in between, then back around again.

I'm trying to remember to hug her and pet her many times a day no matter how she's feeling.

Of Renewed Energy

SUMMARY: Tika's doing well today.

Annnnnnnnd, whew, Tika's back to more like Tika again, after 3 or 4 days of not. No coughing. Ate her kibble for breakfast--well, not all of it, and I had to put it out on the floor for her a few pieces at a time--but at least she showed interest in it and ate it without coaxing or having to try 3 or 4 varieties. Ate her pill pockets with the pills in them (which she hasn't for the last 2-3 days, typical when she's not feeling her best), has been out in the yard patrolling and just came bouncing in to say hi and get some snuggling, found the remnants of the bully stick and has gone hard to work on it, not desultorily as yesterday.

Today is a good day.

Of Tika the Old Dog, and Food, and Walks, and Bully Sticks

SUMMARY: A general decline.

It is hard to write about Tika getting older and slower and less healthy. I meant to do so regularly, to track for my own purposes, but somehow don't have the heart for it most of the time.

She hasn't been in a steady decline, but more like descending waves: Some days or weeks almost like the same old Tika; other days or weeks I wonder whether she's going to make it to the next morning. I remember just before Thanksgiving, she was so bad, I was terrified that it would be all over during the holidays. And then she perked up again.

The worst part for both of us is the Cough. Vet had said that it might be pressure from the enlarged heart or just an old, weakened esophagus that doesn't stay open as well as it used to. Sometimes she'll hardly cough for days. Other times, as in the last 3 days, it's almost constant except during the short times when she can manage to fall asleep.

And it's not so much of a cough any more--just a harsh exhale with a rattle in the throat, with every. single. breath.

Some days she's perfectly happy to eat any choice of kibble that I offer. On other days, it's the same story that I think I've mentioned before: Might or might not eat any of the different kinds of kibble. Or might eat it if I give it to her by hand a few pieces at a time. Or, not that, but only if I put a few on the carpet in front of her a few pieces at a time.

Canned food, she usually eats. But no matter what it is, she's eating less and less of it and leaves some or lots uneaten (from the dog who inhaled anything you gave her). I think that eating adds to the discomfort in her throat or whatever's causing the problem. She still looks pretty good--the advantage to a nice fluffy coat--but underneath, she feels like skin and bones.  (I haven't weighed her lately... I should... but have always done so by lifting her and stepping onto the bathrooms scale, and my back is so painful lately that I'm not eager to do it. But I should...)

She usually is happy to lick my plate, however, or eat any doggie snacks/treats or human food that I offer. Haven't tried to make a full meal of that sort of thing yet, but this week I am at the point where I really need to make the effort to cook for her and see whether that helps.

Pleez can haz more charlie bears?

She still wants to play, but the urge doesn't last very long, and she doesn't shake very hard at all when shaking the toy. She can still sometimes pull pretty darned hard with tug-of-war, but sometimes now she doesn't want to.

She pretty much never runs any more for any reason. She'll still sometimes chase a thrown frisbee or toy, a couple of times, but only at half speed, and she no longer makes an attempt to grab it off the ground, which she always excelled at, like a shortstop scooping up a ground ball.

In the last week, I've been out in the park taking her for a walk almost every day, but just for a short, slow walk.

You know, she used to be untiring; could "hike" 10 miles with me, which meant that she ran back and forth and acted as scout the entire time, so probably more like 15 or 20 miles for her, and then still wanted to play when she got home. She used to fly over jumps and through tunnels at a phenomenal speed with great joy. So this is hard for both of us to take. Yet, going for a walk is still her favorite thing in the world, even on days when she doesn't want to eat or play.

But, this week in particular, she doesn't seem to have the energy to walk very far or very fast, and she's coughing a lot, and she's not eating very much.

When she lies down or sleeps, now, she almost never lies on her side like she did her whole life; she just puts her chin down. Vet person at the seminar I did yesterday with Boost said that fluid and pressure can become worse when lying on their side, so that's probably why.

I gave The Merle Girls bully sticks about an hour ago. Tika sniffed at hers and then put her chin back down. It hurts me to see that. But, after about 15 minutes, she picked it up and started gnawing. Set it down for a bit and went out into the yard to cool down, I think (can't believe it hit almost 80F today!). I rescued it from Boost, the little thief, and gave it back to Tika when she returned.

Then Tika took it out to the back lawn--to her exact favorite spot for chewing chews, working on stuffed Kongs, and the like.

Boost will typically follow and lie a couple of feet away, hoping that Tika will give up chewing and leave it, and this evening, same thing. So all of that is normal. But Tika isn't doing much chewing, just lying there with the rawhide between her feet, panting/gasping, poor girlie.

Another agility friend's dog died suddenly today, not even 11 years old. A frequent hiking companion of ours. I cried, not just for him and his humans, but for Tika, too, after the slow walk and her eating only half a can of food, and for myself, feeling the pain of loss in advance.

Then I just now heard an odd noise in the garage and went out to look. Because of some things going on here lately, I have a couple of interesting stacks that aren't usually there of boxes and dog mats and canopies and such, and there was Boost on top of one of the piles, eagerly checking out a couple of the storage shelves that are normally way out of her reach. Her look of alert surprise when I turned on the light and saw her there made me laugh out loud, and she came bounding back into the house.

My girls.

We're Still Here

SUMMARY: Boost training, Tika eating, Human Mom...wellll...

Hard to believe that I haven't posted anything since Sept 15. I keep thinking of things to write here to keep track of, but then somehow I never implement.

I've started working more diligently on Boost not wanting to drive ahead to obstacles in front of her. Working in the yard, mostly just running in circles to keep her going. Have rented the big field at Power Paws 3 times to spend an hour practicing. Got one private lesson--two days ago--so I've had only 2 days to practice a few minutes each day on that material. (Also got some tips on improving her weave reliability, you know, the reliability where some weekends she is HOT and other weekends we can't do them correctly EVah?)

I dropped my weekly class for a while so that I can concentrate on Boost's Special Needs. Feels odd--it has been a long time since I've not had a regular agility class or two, but I think that this is what we need right now.

She seems to enjoy it!

Tika started coughing more and more and I took her in to the vet Wednesday. He's pretty sure it's "bronchitis" caused by one or more of: weakening trachea (happens in some older dogs), heart enlarging more and pressing on the trachea, or allergies or dust. Lot of construction going on behind us right now to turn the 300ish-acre parcel into a park (yay!) and the neighbors are complaining about the dust, so could be that.

He recommended upping the hydrocodone that I'd been timidly giving her, and sure enough, pretty much no more coughing.

Although I'm not sure that she isn't a little less energetic. Hard to tell, because she's been less and less active and energetic. Maybe a couple of close-to-full-speed chases after a toy or frisbee, and then is content to just wander around investigating things. Lies down quickly in many cases. Doesn't bother getting up to see what's going on unless she's really convinced that it's worth her while (used to always have a Tika tailing me everywhere, every time I even stood up).

Her appetite seems good as long as I keep rotating through 4 different kibbles (NOT the one she's been eating for 10 years and NOT the one that I bought for her back in August--got tired of both). Although she's SO SLOW now. Old timing on mealtime: Both dogs sit. I set Tika's food down and release her, she attacks it. I set Boost's food down and release her, she starts eating calmly, and...Tika is done already! NEW timing on mealtime: Both dogs sit. I set Tika's food down and release her, she starts picking up small mouthfuls and chewing thoroughly. I set Boost's food down and release her, she starts eating calmly. Eventually, Boost finishes and then stands and watches Tika. Meanwhile, I take 6 t-shirts out of the dryer and fold them neatly. Then, finally, Tika is done. It's eerie, how different it all is.

I seem to be making some kind of subtle commitment to continue doing agility, as I have just bought a replacement tunnel for the most disintegrating one, and I've just bought 2 new (well...used) jumps. No activity on adding dogs to the family, though. I'm starting to be inclined to wait until Tika is gone (yikes, painful to think of).

My foot no longer bothers me--mostly because my back has been giving my muscles and nerves such a nasty ride that I've not been very active. But in the last couple of weeks I've started walking to the frisbee park again, and working on a little agility training again, and trying a couple of new things through the physical therapy department. There might be hope. (I think I'll still be struggling this weekend, but mentally I'm feeling pretty good.)

So, this weekend--off to Turlock for two days of USDAA agility. Boost competes, Tika gets to hang out.

I usually, as we all know, get up at 4 am to drive out on Saturday morning of out-of-town trials, but after getting up to the alarm this morning to go up to the practice field, I decided that I can't bear to do that again (even earlier) tomorrow, so I've done the unusual thing and reserved a hotel room for tonight. MUTT MVR is pretty much packed--oh, clothing! Ok, will get to that in a moment--and dogs got some exercise and maybe, just maybe, I'll be in bed in Turlock at a reasonable hour tonight! Worth the expense this time around, anyway.

See you all on the other side of Weekend.

How Are We All Doing?

SUMMARY: Reporting on Human Mom, Boost, and Tika.

Tika is refusing food more and more often. I'm not happy about this. Don't know whether it's her meds or her health. Need to call the vet to discuss. Not convinced that taking certain drugs to help her heart or her cough is good if it means that she loses interest in food. Until this morning, she was happy enough to eat the new fancy expensive kibble that I just bought--as long as I didn't intermingle regular kibble, which really ruined the whole thing, you know. But hand-feeding still worked. This evening she didn't want to eat much of it at all.

She even almost turned down her guard-the-house-goodie this morning when I left for work--and she's not rejected that before. (It's just a dry biscuit, but until now has been eagerly accepted.) No problems tonight in class, though, sucking down those Zukes minis!

Human Mom had a rotten night last night, what with back/leg pain, a cough that wouldn't quit between about 2 and 3 a.m., two dogs that needed to go out in the middle of the night at different times, and a sometimes coughing dog. H.M. got most of her sleep between 7:30 a.m. and 10 a.m. Amazing I made it through the day. But work was interesting and urgent today, which helped.

And then, even more interestingly, felt really good in class tonight running Boost. Was able to actually run, fast for me anyway, without pain. That bodes well for the weekend. Still, the back and connected leg pain are such a...pain. Standing there, watching someone else's run, turned my head or some other innocuous minor movement, and whack! Sudden pain in lower back and I had to take steps to ease it out. So we didn't do a whole class this evening; want to save myself for the Regional Championships this weekend in Prunedale.

Boost--well, wow, what a great night in class! Not a single bar down! No nasty runouts (except pretty obvious handler errors) or refusals. Wow! Well, OK, couple of missed weave entries, darn it, she will just never be as good as Tika at the weave entries. And that's the thing we've most practiced through the years. OK, anyway, maybe it was because I was moving more comfortably and faster, dunno, but what a pleasure it was! Hoping that it lasts through at least some of the weekend.

See folks there Saturday through Monday; I bailed on Friday's events for various reasons. Weather should be great, people should be wonderful, maybe we'll get a Q or two.

Coming Up, Tika's Last Trial

SUMMARY: Well, officially entered, anyway.

I entered Tika in one run this weekend, Jumpers, which was always her favorite. I haven't been doing much with her at all, and she starts out in the yard playing fast and eager but quickly resorts to just digging her notorious hole to china under the shrubbery. Tried running her around a small course today with just a few jumps and tunnels and never did get all the way through it.

So I might just pick a quick few jumps and out. So sad. I'm so very sad. I'll make that officially Tika's last agility run. Here's the age data from this trial's statistics sheet:

I'm not expecting much from this weekend. This week I ended up with a cold, so am tired and congested on top of Boost's insane obsessive scratching and biting the last couple of nights, really interrupting both of our sleeps. She scratched for two hours straight when I went to bed last night, and then another hour after I gave her a prednisone.

Now that she's on prednisone, I hope that'll knock it out quickly so we can both sleep.  Except of course that prednisone tends to make my dogs' bladders work more urgently, which could get me up in the night anyway--so I *do* want to remain asleep-but-alert to avoid having a bed wetting or floor wetting like last time around.

This heavy scratching started (it's been building up by hydroxyzine had been holding it off) after several days of Tika coughing a lot during the night. Now Tika's getting an occasional small dose of hydrocodone/something (similar to what humans get with an intractable cough) and I think that's helped some, not eliminated completely but not interrupting my sleep every hour.

And I've already mentioned that I'm completely out of shape, not doing any running or hiking or anything. My foot and back aren't a lot better--improving, I think, but not there yet. I've put on weight, Boost has put on MORE weight which is a mystery because I've been cutting back her food more. She's now getting only 83% of what she has gotten most of her adult life, and she's up another half pound in the last month! Argh! It is true that she's also getting less activity because I'm doing so much less lately.

So this weekend is really not going to be about me and Boost qualifying in anything because the odds seem slim. Instead, it's about Tika retiring, and about sugar, because that's what I'm bringing to celebrate. Because I need more sugar.

In fact, must go pick up the celebration thing right now.

Wish us good luck in getting a good night sleep, and then in the morning it's off to Manzanita Park.

Tika Goes To the Vet

SUMMARY: Things are a bit better.

We checked in with the vet this morning.

Have I mentioned lately that Tika hates going to the vet?  From the moment when I open the car door to see her quivering, to the moment when she races to the car afterwards and does NOT want to take a little potty walk thank you very much, she hates being at the vet.

So she gets tranks, one pill an hour before we go. We tried a new one this time that isn't supposed to be as potentially disruptive to her heart. It worked better.

First, the de rigueur sniffing everything at a hyperspeed rate. But this time, not so much whining as usual and took more time sniffing instead of immediately racing into--

--the pacing around and around. This time, not so frantic, and when I'd get my hand on her, she'd actually stop to be stroked (not the usual reaction at all).

Then, obsessively checking whether the door will open over and over. This time, no throwing herself at the door and screaming.  (And the tranquilizer we'd been using mitigated that behavior some but didn't eliminate it.) So this is also good.

Also, with the other trank, she'd be dopey and tripping over her own feet for a couple of hours afterwards (even at a lower dose). This time, she's pretty normal.

So.

Her heart rate is back to around 130/140, which is often where it has been in the recent past, but her pulse is still mismatched, about 90, which means that the heart is still pumping too fast for it to be efficient in its weakened state. But that's much better than over 200 with a low pulse. So the digoxin seems to be helping.

She's still been coughing more than I'd like (especially the half dozen, sometimes more, sometimes fewer, times during the night that wake me up, thanks a ton), but there's still no evidence of an infection or fluid build-up (although we didn't repeat the x-ray this time), but yes a bit of congestion. Sounds a lot like me when my allergies or asthma flare  up a bit.  Tried Tussin DX for a couple of days but (a) she HATES it, shakes her head wildly after I squirt it into her cheek flap, so have to give it to her outside to avoid having a house decorated with cherry-red spatter, and (b) not sure it was helping anyway. So will be adding yet another pill to her regimen to try to alleviate some of her coughing.

A little concerned about how little interested she's been showing in her regular food. Hand feeding the uneaten parts sometimes works, waiting 30 or 90 minutes and trying again sometimes works, but not always. She's not missed that much food, probably less than a cup total over the last couple of weeks, but her weight is down a couple of pounds. (Vet says that this is typical for many kinds of chronic illness, and also that the digoxin, started 3 weeks ago, is notorious for making dogs into picky eaters.)

She still takes treats, canned dogfood, and other snacks with the old gusto. I've ordered a bag of the food that she got at the housesitter's house (Taste of the Wild Pacific Stream Canine Formula with Smoked Salmon), which she apparently was willing to eat when she wouldn't eat her regular food over there. We'll see whether that helps--would have to really start monitoring her weight to see how much of that she needs daily.

So, as much as she hates going to the vet, her Human Mom is happy to have more information and reassurances and possible treatments and all.

Checking In

SUMMARY: How's Tika and everyone and everything.

Thanks, everyone who's asked about Tika.

She still thinks she's good, just her stamina seems to be getting lower all the time. She still plays tug with full ferocity; still runs after the toy or frisbee full speed--nothing wrong with her limbs or bones or muscles. But I suspect the heart just makes her tire much more quickly than she'd like. The last couple of days she's been coughing a lot again. Then, tonight, we drove up to class, and I didn't hear any cough from her for three and a half hours. Got home, had doggie dinners, everyone's lying around before bedtime, and now she's coughing again. Maybe there's something in the environment here? Wish I could guess what it is.

I'm still treating my back and foot tenderly, and I'm just dang tired of it. Why don't things just heal up the way they used to when I was 13? Or even 20? Although--well--I still remember, my freshman year in college, the ankle injury received by being between two flag-football player bodies going in opposite directions at the same time. Hurt for months.

Anyhooos-- Because, as one person put it, I have all this money and time just lying around with nothing better to do, I entered Boost in all classes at the two-day SMART USDAA that's coming up in a week, and then also all classes at the FOUR-day Regional the following weekend. I can barely totter around a field, what makes me think I can do four days of agility? At least it's just with one dog.

I signed Tika up for a single Jumpers run at the SMART trial to use as her real, final, complete retirement run. Not sure what I'll do to celebrate that with other attendees--still pondering options. Undoubtedly something with sugar in it. Because that's the way I roll.

Meanwhile, I left the Merle Girls with friends (the family of Bump, Styx, and Dig) for four days...   something I've never done before (dogs have always stayed at my house when I take off for a vacation... and the friends provided photos!

They had trouble finding Boost the first evening--

All the dogs got to go on a fun tour of the Stanford University Campus. Bump *always* has something to say, and Dig is always monitoring the situation.

Wet Booster Collie.

The Merle Girls meet the Rodin Sculpture Garden. What ARE all those giant people pointing at?

Visiting the Stanford family mausoleum.

...while I went off to Tuolumne Meadows at 8400 feet in Yosemite. It was gorgeous. I love it up there.

No mosquitos was a bonus. Walked a very few miles here and there, but hardly anything at all, and my foot and back really felt it quickly.Very glad to stop for lunch in the shade alongside the Tuolumne River.

 Disappointed that I couldn't do more. Couldn't even walk the length of the Meadows and back (well, it's VERY long). But got a lot of photos that I'm still sorting through, and I was VERY happy to be there, and to be there with good friends...

... and nothing to worry about except whether to have a frosty (soft ice cream) cone *every* day. [Answer: Well, duh!]

Tika's Good Old Bad Old Heart

SUMMARY: Not the best news.

Tika had been coughing a bit more this last week. And then Friday night she coughed off and on all night. Seemed like an exact repeat of what happened before she had her near collapse back in November, but at least this time I was at home rather than at an agility trial, so I canceled my movie plans for the morning and called the vet's office (luckily my regular vet usually works saturday mornings).

Got a late-morning appointment. Gave Tika her usual sedative an hour before (because she stresses out SO much about being at the vet's office).

Tossed both dogs into MUTT MVR and drove the 20-30 minutes over there. I keep thinking that I should just find another vet who's closer--there are a ton of them w/in 5 minutes--but I've been going there since 1979 and they know my dogs' history and all. Anyway.

Took Tika into the lobby. Was told we'd have to wait because the doctor was dealing with an emergency. They have fairly comfortable vinyl-covered seats, perfect for pets whom you want to have on the seat with you. Tika, even with the sedative, wasn't wanting to hold still. Popped up on her hind legs to look over the counter to see what the receptionist was doing. Hopped onto and off of the bench a couple of times to look out the window. Hopped up again, gave me an odd blank look, and collapsed in my arms.

I yelled, "there's something wrong with my dog!" as she started to twitch and arch her neck, and then she went limp as the receptionist dashed into the back calling for assistance. I thought she was gone for a moment, but no, she was breathing fine, evenly and calmly, and her eyes were open.

Way too calmly. Even on sedatives, she's wired. But she just lay there and I held her. A vet tech came out and said that he could carry her into the examination room, and she just let him, so very much NOT like Tika. That's when I noticed that the seat and my jeans were completely soaked, and that's the moment when it sank in that she'd just had a seizure.

In the exam room, the vet rushed in while she lay quietly on the table, but upright now rather than on her side, as I held her and stroked her. He checked her eyes and her gums--a little pale, just like back in November, then checked her pulse and her heart rate. While I tried not to sob out loud.

At that point, Tika started panting more like Tika does most of her life, and wanted to stand up, which she did shakily while I held her up.

Another minute or two and she said she was fine, although now on the floor, she tried to shake herself off and just fell right over (because I let go of her when she shook, doh).

I mentioned to the vet that I'd heard that he was dealing with another emergency. Yes, he said, a dog had been having seizures. (Guess it was that kind of day.) Dog had been stabilized and he had just been giving instructions and info to the owner when they called him to check Tika. Anyway.

So, here's the deal.

Her heartrate is now about 220-240 a minute! But pulse 80-90ish. She has always had an athlete's slow heartbeat, and even back less than a month ago at our previous visit, it still sounded good except for the murmer that indicates ongoing degenerative heart disease.

The discrepancy meant that her heart had started fibrillation--rapid beating without having a chance for the blood to fill back in between beats, so blood was actually pumping (pulse) only once about every 2 or 3 beats.

This is SO no good. Means that her chances for a sudden fatal heart attack or stroke have skyrocketed.

They kept her for a couple of hours to do an EKG and a current x-ray to check for fluid in the lungs or the chest cavity (the question about the coughing). Also a blood test again to check for kidney function, etc. I took Boost over to the nearby part and actually into the dog park there while we waited. (Maybe a quick post about that later.)

EKG shows that only the upper half of her heart is actually working, lower half is struggling. That's bad.

X-ray showed no signs of fluid. That's good. Means her cough was probably just the bronchitis that she also suffers from. But x-ray did show narrowing of trachea in throat and near the heart, so it could just be harder for her to get enough air all the time. Interestingly, he suggested 1/2 tsp of Robitussin DM as needed for the cough. That seems to help, although she REALLY doesn't like the taste of it, so I have to be creative in getting it into her.

Added one more med to her regimen--digoxin. Vet tried to get in touch with the doggie cardiologist while I was there, but wasn't in on the weekend. He's going to call them on Monday to try to get a phone consult about medication and actions to take, and possibly I'll take her in there if it seems necessary to do so.

Then I practically had a heart attack when the receptionist told me, "That comes to $750." At least I didn't start having a seizure on the spot, but my brain wanted to.

I don't really want to get into heroic measures and extreme medical options. She's 12 and a half, which still doesn't feel that old to me at times, because she's still so fast and perky most of the time. But really that is an old dog, and I've been so lucky so far with her.

We'll see how things go and when and where. I'm back to playing a waiting game--is she going to go today? Tomorrow? Not for months? When she doesn't move when I come into the room, is she gone? Dang old dogs.

Dang, good old Tika. Didn't eat enthusistically this morning, which is unlike Tika historically. Spent a lot of the day up in the bedroom, which is her go-to place when she's not feeling well...or when she's feeling neglected.

My girl. My Merle Girl. So hard to think about not having her. Trying to think about *having* her and enjoying her. But she's definitely never going to do agility again. If she wants to do frisbee, fine. If htat's how she goes, that's fine. But I don't want it to be while doing that dog sport that she has done so very well in for so many years. It was a gift.

Agility in the Autumn Recap

SUMMARY: Sometimes nothing goes the way you expect it to.

Picking up from where I left off--Tika again coughed most of the night Friday night, so even though I had no trouble drifting off because I was so tired from lack of sleep Thursday night, when 4 a.m. rolled around, I was then operating on two nights of sleep deprivation. Still, when I headed out on the road, I felt pretty good and even looking forward to the weekend.

The trip to Turlock was uneventful and I arrived half an hour earlier than I had anticipated, so turned on my alarm and napped in MUTT MVR for half an hour. First time I think I've ever done *that* (although I have often stopped & napped on my way home from trials).

The weather cooperated nicely. Cold and crisp on Saturday, with no rain at all. Tika in particular likes the cooler weather, so I figured that we might get some good fast runs. (Sunday was a bit warmer but still nicely cool for the dogs.)

We started the morning with Pairs Relay. Boost and her partner did great--her partner (a half sister) knocked a bar, but Boost was spot on perfect and I felt great running, knee again not bothering me, felt faster than I've felt in a long time. We had THE fastest running time of all 16 teams, wooohooo! but the 5-second penalty for the bar knocked us into 2nd place. That's very cool; Boost very seldom finishes with a placement ribbon even when we Q.

Tika and her partner did good, although once again Tika stunned me by popping out of the middle of the poles. I always made a high-pitched "brrrrrrrrr!" noise as she did the poles, and so now I'm wondering whether she's not hearing it so is thinking she's in the wrong place. But we still Qed and placed 2nd of 6 teams! A great way to start the morning, and Tika looked quite happy to be out there.

Next up, Standard, and OMG OMG OMG Boost and I had *another* spot-on perfect run! I felt fleet and fit; she did everything right, and placed 4th of 26 dog with a Q! Like, truly, WOW! On only 4 other weekends, ever, has she placed in the ribbons in 2 runs the same weekend! Happy happy happy, we both looked pretty pleased coming off the course. I also decided this weekend to do quick releases off all the contacts rather than stopped and telling her she's good. I liked that.

I'm thinkin'--oooh, this COULD be our day for a Super-Q in Snooker! Everything is clicking!

In Standard, Tika took the first jump and started coughing. I kept going, because on the few times she's coughed while running, it's gone within 3 or 4 coughs. She kept going, doing everything perfectly, but still coughing coughing. By the 10th obstacle--a chute (collapsed tunnel), she was obviously slowing. Next up, the dogwalk, and I decided that if she was still coughing on the dogwalk, I was stopping. But, you know, Tika doesn't stop on the dogwalk.

She didn't this time, either, but she was very slow, took a couple steps off the end, stopped completely, and stood there silently with her head down as I moved quickly in.

She took a step and staggered. I grabbed her. Head still down. I gently tried to turn her around to leave the course, and she stumbled against me. I held her still for a moment, scared down to the pit of my soul. She took another step, stumbled, then another step, and another, and her head came up, and her ears came up, and she trotted off the field like nothing had happened.

I checked her gums, and they were white.

White gums was how I always knew that Remington's tumor was bleeding internally, so I know about white gums. And, because of Remington, I have checked Tika's gums occasionally since she started the coughing, and they've never been white.

Much quick consulting with the many season vet techs who are also agility addicts around here. Tika still acting like a completely normal Tika, ready to go, eager to eat, bright-eyed. Got info about the 24/7 emergency clinic and headed off with both dogs.

So.

By the time we got there, Tika's gums had a little pink to them. They did a triage check and said, nope, her gums are fine, and so we went on the end of the queue of not-in-immediate-danger pets spending their Saturday at the emergency clinic.

Eventually, we met with the vet. By that time, Tika's gums were the usual bright pink. And aside from occasional coughing, looked and acted completely normal, including being quite stressed about being at the vet's.

They did a blood test at my request, and her blood cells were normal, no sign of anemia. The vet also kept listening to her chest over and over, and we finally decided to do chest x-rays (w/out sedation--Tika was very good!). Now, I've known for a couple of years that Tika had a heart murmur, and that it had gotten slightly worse by this summer;  at our most recent visit, our vet discussed a little bit about how Tika was likely headed down the road sometime to congestive heart failure. He said to let him know if she started coughing. She had been for several months at that point, but he seemed to think that what I was reporting wasn't significant. But it did prepare me for this diagnosis confirmed by Saturday's x-rays: Congestive heart failure.

Her heart is enlarged, and her chest had accrued extra fluid, all putting pressure on her blood vessels and bronchial tubes, which is what causes the coughing (same in people as in dogs). Most likely what happened on the field was that she simply was not getting enough oxygen to her brain.

Why she was fine during frisbee that morning and during her pairs relay run, but then started coughing during Standard, dunno.

But obviously in those preceding 48 hours, her body had crossed some kind of threshold that had made everything suddenly quite worse.

Do you know how strange it is to think, "Oh, thank Dog, she only has congestive heart failure!" ??!

Got some diuretics for her to reduce the fluid in her chest (standard treatment for humans, too). And returned to the trial, 4 hours after we'd left.

Anyway.

Scratched Tika from the rest of the weekend.

When we got back, Steeplechase Round 1 was in progress, so we had completely missed Gamblers and Snooker, dagnabbit. Everyone was very nice and let me get a quick walk-through at a jump-height change so that I could still run Boost in the Steeplechase.

I still felt fast and fit, but Boost ran past two jumps, wasting too much time when I had to take her back to fix them, so no Q. But parts of the run felt brilliant.

We also were able to run Jumpers. It was a gnarly course (in the negative sense) and the Q rate was low: Only 6 of the 28 dogs in Boost's height Qualified... including Boost! That's Jumpers Qs two trials in a row! Holy mackerel! AND a fourth-place ribbon! (It wasn't a pretty run, way too many turns in the wrong direction, but she kept all her bars up and didn't run past anything.)

So three Qs and three placement ribbons out of four runs! That has never happened before!

Took Tika out of her crate about every half hour and she peed a lot each time, so the diuretic was doing its job, I hoped. Dreaded the night, though--

I was in bed and asleep by 8:30, SO tired from 2 nights of interrupted sleep and the stress of the day. Had to set the alarm for 10:30 p.m. to give Tika her next pill, took her out then for one last pee--

--and then we all slept straight through until the alarm went off at 7. Blissful sleep! And no coughing from Tika! Yay!

On Sunday, Tika and I: 

• Spent time together with her just out of the crate, visiting people, getting treats and affection.
• Wandered around the grounds looking for molecules of goodies in the grass.
• Worked at the score table together--well, I worked the score sheets and she worked the food.
• Played tug-of-war. Vet said no running for a week, keep her fairly quiet. Tug probably isn't quiet, but she was SO happy to get some playing in! And I stopped at the first sign of a cough each time.

Everyone at agility is SO nice; I can't tell you how many people helped me after Tika's meltdown in the ring, even offering to go with me to the emergency room (I declined), or came by later that day or today to ask how she was, share their knowledge or their lessons from their own similar experiences, and to wish us well. I hope I said thank you often enough--you all out there were wonderful, and I'm grateful beyond words.

On Sunday, Boost and I:

• Had a not-quite perfect jumpers run--she knocked the 2nd bar, I got in a late front cross for an off course after #4, and then--were brilliant! Oh, what a fun dog to run when everything is clicking!
• Had a PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT Standard run with the 2nd fastest time of all 30 dogs in her class--oh, except for that one little bit where she ran past the first jump instead of taking it. I didn't go back and fix it, no point to that. So we E'ed but I was SO happy with that run!
• Had a SUPER Grand Prix run; 7th fastest out of 29 dogs but 4 of the others had faults and we didn't, so she Qed AND placed 3rd!  In Grand Prix! OMG all over again! The highest she had ever placed before was 5th, and that only twice ever!
• Had...well...a not-so perfect Snooker run. OK, she kept all her bars up! But we had to have discussions about 2 different jumps that she didn't go over, so we ran out of time partway through the #7 in the closing, but the bits between that were SO much fun! Turns out that even if we'd made it, we'd have been 1 point shy of a Super-Q, but still, at least it was a regular Q.

And my knee continued to feel great... oh, except now it's popping every time I take a step. Doesn't hurt (much), though, and it hasn't felt this good in a very long time as it has these last couple of months.  And I've felt like I've really been hauling my own butt around the course, which maybe is why she's doing better. It's inexplicable.

So, for Boost's weekend: Qed 5 out of 8--62%! She has NEVER Qed more than 35% in a USDAA weekend, EVER! *AND* four of them placing in the top 4 out of a large class, when she'd only ever had 2 placements in a weekend before.

Don't tell me that Boost and I are figuring out how to do agility as she's approaching her 8th birthday and Tika is unexpectedly retiring?! That's just ridiculous!

So, is Tika retired from agility? Most likely, yes. Did I really believe that this weekend would be her last weekend of agility, ever? Not really. I expected to have some time to think about it, for her to gradually still get older and slower and more frail, and that I would then make a decision and have a nice retirement agility trial with her, but hopefully not until we'd gotten those last 20 Qs for her Platinum Lifetime.

But today she felt fine all day; annoyed that i wouldn't let her play frisbee; almost no coughing. Tomorrow, we'll meet with our regular vet and talk about the future.

The future-- yes, sometimes, nothing goes the way you expect it to.

Agility in the Autumn

SUMMARY: Off to Turlock for USDAA

Well well well, here we are, our last planned agility event until February. Three months! Can I stand it? Especially since Tika should (if all goes well) be well under 20 Qs away from her platinum lifetime after this weekend. And who knows what condition she'll be in 3 months from now.

But--I think it's for the best that I take a longer break, even though there are trials we could attend.

Tika has been having this weird sort of cough/gag thing for months, and recently it seems to be more frequent. Yesterday she was doing it a lot, and then--OMG, off and on all night. I hardly slept. I've never noticed her doing it at night before. Allergies? My renter suggests--acid reflux? Something worse? Something boring? Something contagious? I doubt contagious since it's been going on for so long.  Vet's office said bring her in Monday, so I need to get through 3 more nights and a weekend of agility.

Ack, there she goes again right now.  I shot a little video of her on my little camera, but the sound doesn't come through very well. At least I have something to show the vet.

She's still not completely deaf, but oh, it sometimes breaks my heart how much she misses, or ALMOST hears. The other day, I arrived home, came in through the garage. She was standing at the front door, staring at it, head a-tilt. I walked up the stairs six feet behind her, said her name a couple of times. A couple more head tilts towards the door. I had to walk over to her before she turned her head and realized that I was already in the house. Much happiness.

If I'm going somewhere where the dogs usually like to go (out in the yard, up to the bedroom), now I have to go to wherever she is and let her know that I'm moving, because otherwise she misses that fact and sometimes I hear her trotting around looking for me.

Anyway.

This week, haven't practiced much agility. Also, class was called on account of rain. Back yard is a bit muddy and goopy, not making me want to run around in it.

I did work with both of them on a few tricks last night, which I haven't done in a while. Started shaping a "wave" from the handshake that they both already know. Made a lot of progress actually. It's really pretty quick to teach. I'll bet I could have the whole thing in another one or two 10-minute sessions. Just need to do it.

Forecast is for overnight lows around 34 F (1.1 C) with a chance of showers on Saturday. I decided to splurge again and stay in a hotel Saturday night instead of trying to sleep in MUTT MVR. Nothing fancy, just something pretty close to the trial site. And I dug out the long underwear for the first time this year.

Funny story--When I got up this morning, I heard a weird sound in the upstairs hallway, like some kind of machine running and sucking or blowing air. It seemed to be coming from the renter's rooms and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was doing, as it's way too cold for A/C. Arriving downstairs, I realized--the furnace had just kicked on for the first time in months and was heating my house. 

So I guess winter is finally here, after setting record-high temperatures for the dates just last week.

Guess I'd better go try to get some sleep so I'm ready when the alarm goes off at--sigh--4:00ish.