Garden Bloggers Bloom Day, March 15, 2011

SUMMARY: Almost wordless Wednesday

This one is specifically for Steph.

(Here's the scoop from Garden Bloggers Bloom Day's originator, and her first-ever GBBD post. Steph introduced me to this--I posted a few times, but not often. And now Steph's not really able to do it for her own garden. So I'm doing it for mine, for her. Hi, Steph.)

These were just a few of the beautiful things in my yard on the 15th (yesterday). For the rest, visit my photo gallery--click Slideshow in the upper right when you get there.

Weave Entries

SUMMARY: Boost, funny dog.

Here's how the field was laid out for last Thursday night's class:


(Thanks, Nancy, for this course map of your class setup.)

There are tons of exercises that you can do on this layout. But I want to talk just about Boost's weave entries.

In one of the exercises, we swooped around a course that included the obstacles with the square numbers--jump, tunnel, Aframe, weaves. I stayed on Boost's right all the way through, intending to just shoot her straight forward at the weaves from the Aframe and cross behind to her left. But nooo--she went into the 2nd pole, not the correct entry.

This is the weave entry that Boost has trouble with. This is *supposed* to be the easy side (bearing left) for dogs to enter because they have to wrap the first pole, which is supposed to give them a solid place to aim for (there's only one place where the weaves begin), compared to the other end (bearing right), where they have to go between two poles to make the entry (there are 11 places where there are 2 poles to go between).

But noooo, Boost is the opposite.

To end the evening, we did some follow-the-leader drills. There, the leader does a short sequence of 3 to 5 obstacles, and everyone else has to do it exactly the same way (same starting position, same crosses at same places, running on same side of the dog, etc.). With no walking the course--Handler See, Handler Do, all of us in rapid succession.

I marked two of them: The first in white circles. Challenging because you're on the left, you're not leading out very far, and the weave entry is not in a straight line from the line of jumps. I lined Boost up aimed at the left side of jump #1 so that she'd be on her left lead through the line of jumps, hopefully helping her to drift slightly towards me after the 3rd jump and then make a distinct right turn into the weaves. I also called her name once before the last jump to emphasize drifting in my direction, but kept running, and followed it with a quick "weave!" Worked perfectly. But then--this *is* Boost's good side for weave entries. Most classmates had trouble with this one.

[Hmmm--in looking at this--the weaves were more to the left in real life, because I could look down the line of jumps and the left side of the weaves was more in line with the left side of the jumps, not so far to the right of the jumps.)

The next is in dark circles. With dog on your right, you send them into the tunnel, then skeedaddle into a front cross between the tunnel and the #2 jump, but the dog still has to make that turn into the weaves pretty much independently. Again, Boost had no trouble with it, but several others had to retry.

It's both funny and baffling to have a dog who can make what I'd consider to be hard entries but can't make what I'd consider to be easy entries. Ah, well, at least that's something!

Santa Teresa Park Hike

SUMMARY: Once again, hit our nearby park with a friend and assorted dogs and cameras.

This was supposed to be a day for practicing photo techniques on our dogs, but for an assortment of reasons, it turned into a light hiking and geocaching day. The wind came cold and hard, but it's always fun hiking with a friend and the assorted agility beasties. By the time made it to the top of Coyote Peak, we had worked up enough of a sweat to strip off our windbreakers and tie them around our waists:

And had to have our portraits done at The Usual Spot (note that I've now made that into its own special page that will have a permanent link above):

Saw a few birds within camera range--the egret was really too far away, so he's not shown here.

Wildflowers are already making their appearances:

And so is lots of that other stuff--pretty foliage, though.

Today's companion is another of my avid Geocaching agility friends, and of course she had her geocaching GPS unit, so we went a-huntin':

We quickly found a couple on the way down.

I tried some four-dog portraits with my new point-and-shoot to see how they'd turn out. As is usual when trying to get multiple dogs to be perfect photo subjects simultaneously, most of my shots turned out something like this:

But in one--synchronicity occurred! Herewith: Boost, Tika, Carson, and Steamer. (Look at those Border Collie head-down focused poses--)

Tika's Better

SUMMARY: Same dang thing.

One day (wednesday), poom! just like that, sore, head down, nubber tail down, Tika can't do much of anything without pain. Keeps on, keeps on, keeps on. Get home from client site Thursday around 6:30, she greets me at the door subdued, tail down, yelps when she tries to wiggle too much.

I sit at the computer for about an hour, then get up to take the dogs to class (Tika will go and have a nice warm crate to lie in)--and Tika leaps to her feet, head up, nubber tail up and wiggling--she leaps into the air, dashes in tight little circles, runs out to the car--

"All better, mom!"

And has been fine since then. Such a puzzler.

I made an appointment with a new chiropractor for her anyway, for this coming Wednesday. I asked my agility club for south-bay recommendations and about a dozen people gave me her name. That sounds really good! And Tika loves chiro and massage, so it should be a nice thing for her as well as maybe taking care of any kinks or alignments here and there.

And we hope she stays hale and hearty through next weekend's CPE trial.

Earthquake and Tsunami Updates

SUMMARY: Darwin award winner; history can teach us something; could be worse in CA...

I misspoke about California's quakes: Report on the radio from Geologic Survey said that the Japanese quake was 3000 times more powerful than the Loma Prieta. And the maximum that is likely to ever happen in California is 8.5, not 8.0. One difference from Japan's latest quake (BTW, GS also says 7th largest ever recorded)--our faults are largely directly under or adjacent to some major population centers, not 60 miles off the coast as this one was.

We have identified a candidate for this year's Darwin Awards. Seems three guys up the coast went down to the beach to take photos of the tsunami and were swept out into the ocean. Two survived. They've currently called off the search for the third. This was right in the area where parts of Crescent City were leveled by a tsunami in 1964 (see here for the article to go with the video):



They now have a 20-foot wall protecting the town that apparently helped this time around, although their harbor and its boats are pretty much a loss. Apparently these guys didn't read up on their local history. I mean, even *I* knew about it (hence knew to go looking for it on the web) and I've never lived in the area.

My agility friends are smarter than that; the ones living near the coast were posting earlier today about how they and their dogs were moving inland ahead of the predicted tsunami landfall. No beach play today for the dogs.

And I'm glad they moved themselves. Santa Cruz harbor, just over the hill, was thoroughly messed up; lost a lot of boats and smashed others along with huge concrete monoliths torn from the harbor onto the docks, which were destroyed. That seems to be pretty much the story for the random other coastal cities that were in the line of the incoming waves with no significant protection. No other reports of injuries or deaths, thank goodness, and I haven't heard that any homes were affected, either. Still, coastal counties have been declared a Disaster Area.

Tsunami Again

SUMMARY: Shaking not that bad--

Interesting that the reported experiences for that tremendous quake aren't even as intense as what people felt in the Loma Prieta: Check out the Geologic Survey's interactive map of the Sendai quake here.

Once again, the tsunami might be the most devastating part of mother nature's show.

Tsunami and Dog Agility

SUMMARY: Stunning photo

If anyone in the agility world hasn't already seen this photo of the Japanese tsunami about to engulf an agility field--well--here it is.

(Photo bigger with credits here. )

The quake itself registered 8.9. Unimaginable. When the Loma Prieta quake hit in 1989, I was about 9 miles from its epicenter. It rocked us hard. (I previously posted about it.) Difficult to stand up or walk comfortably, although hard to know because most of us were diving under our desks or tables. The Richter Scale is logarithmic--each full number indicates a magnitude 10 times stronger. So--the Sendai quake was 100 times more powerful than Loma Prieta. Really, I can't imagine. It gives me chills. What a disaster.

Consider that the largest earthquake ever recorded (on a seismograph) registered 9.5. And the largest that's likely to ever occur in California is probably around 8. The quake that devastated Haiti? 7.0.

That 8.9 is really. Really. Overwhelmingly big.

And seeing that tsunami sweep across the countryside towards an oh-so-familiar-feeling dog agility field--wow. Brings it all home to me, for some reason, in a way that none of the other photos can.

Questions

SUMMARY: Random ponderings.

1. I just mowed the lawn on Sunday; how can it be over the tops of my shoes again on Thursday morning? Isn't this still, like, winter?
2. I just swept and washed the kitchen floor on Saturday; how can there possibly be piles of dirt and dog hair and, for crying out loud, a cartload of pieces of grass under everything already by Wednesday? Why don't the dogs have the courtesy to wipe their feet and blow their coats outside? On the lawn?
3. After two weeks, I finally picked up that broken fraction of an old plastic pot and hauled it over to the back door to be thrown away; why today does Boost decide that it's the greatest playtoy ever invented and ecstatically run off with it to drop it eventually somewhere? On the lawn? Especially when there are already three--count them, three!--Jolly Balls already waiting neglected on the lawn?
4. Why is Tika sore?
5. Why does she like to take her empty Leo food dispenser outside and leave it on the lawn? The dining room carpet isn't good enough?
6. Why, when I'm out in the yard watching, does she poop in the far out-of-the-way mulched corners of the yard, but when I'm not watching, she leaves it for me to step in--on the lawn of course?
7. Will it please not rain this weekend, when two agility friends and I are planning on taking our SLRs and agility beasts into the off-leash hills for hours of hiking and dog and photo fun? And no lawns in sight? Will Tika please feel better by then?
8. Why is the rum gone?
9. Will Mr. Frog find a mate and raise a family and so my pond will be filled with algae forevermore? Will they take care of any possible evil mosquito larvae?
10. Where's Waldo?
11. I'm guessing out on the lawn with everything else.
12. How can I possibly gain 5 lbs in a week? Stupid easter candy. Stupid potlucks.
13. Can I possibly get back into the swing of getting lots of exercise every day? Working longer hours sucks. Wouldn't it be great if every day I had time to go for a long hike? AND then mow the lawn? If I could get at it with all the stuff lying on it.

Dang Sore Dog

SUMMARY: Don't know what made Tika sore this time--

Tika hasn't been sore for quite a while, thank goodness. For a long time, I was giving her rimadyl before and during agility weekends just to be sure (arthritis sucks for aging people and dogs), but forgot to do it a couple of times and she was fine and then I just stopped doing it. I mean, Jake was on rimadyl for a while the first couple of times he came up sore at maybe 7 or 8, and then just didn't need it any more except on rare occasions, and he was still doing some agility apparently quite comfortably just before he died at 15.

Anyway--Tika is sore this afternoon and evening. No clue why or how. We played in the yard in the morning like we always do--like we usually do a couple of times a day. We didn't go to the park and play frisbee, which we often do. We haven't been going for walks as much the last 3 weeks because my work load has been higher than normal.

So this afternoon--when I actually got ambitious and actually went into the yard specifically to actually practice agility (having not felt like it for the longest time), Tika just trotted into the first tunnel I put her into, went gingerly over a 16" (which is low for her) jump, trotted across the dogwalk--well, if you've ever seen Tika work, you'll know that this is odd.

I gave her a break on the deck & tossed treats to her (which is always her #1 priority anyway) while I did bar-knocking and weave drills with Boost.

I went out for about 3 hours this evening, and when I came home, the dogs greeted me with the usual insanity--and within seconds, Tika had yelped, tucked what there is of her tail, and started to vanish to go hide in my bedroom (which is her fallback strategy when she's sore or not feeling well). I jollied her out of it and gave her a rimadyl.

But it remains: She's sore, and I don't know why, drat it all. Maybe it's *because* we haven't been going for walks or going to the park or doing as much work and play even in the yard?

I hate guessing games like this.

No trial this weekend, but CPE the following weekend. Hope she's feeling good for that.

Downtown San Jose At and Around City Hall

SUMMARY: Wordless Wednesday.

Boost Snooker Issues

SUMMARY:Are the problems really what I think the problems are?

Just a little review of our snooker runs for 2010/11 to be sure I'm not focusing on the wrong things.

Here's my snooker code:
a/b/c/d+x-y
means
a/b/c/d which numbered obstacles we completed in the opening, so for example 7/7/6 means we did 1-7-1-7-1-6; 7/0/1 means we did 1 then 7 then screwed up the next red for 0 pts, then 1 then 0 pts for whatever we did after that 3rd red.
+x-y which obstacles we got through in the closing (e.g., 2 thru 6, 2 thru 3, 2 thru 7)

•  "1/23/2010","7/0/0+2-7 Knocked two of the 3 red jumps in the opening, got through the closing.
• "2/13/2010",Off course pretty early.
• "2/14/2010", got only 1 point, didn't note what went wrong.
• "4/16/2010","0/7/7/7+2-4, knocked the 1st red in the opening; I fell partway through and was down for a bit and we ran out of time.
• "4/17/2010","7/7/1+2. Weaves in opening bobbles bobbles bobbles, so didn't get credit for one of them and caused us to run out of time before #3 in closing.
• "4/18/2010","7/6/6/ Perfect opening! In closing, sent to back side of tunnel and she hesitated before going in for a refusal.
• "4/24/2010","7/6/5/0+2-6 knocked 4th red in opening, bobbles so ran out of time in closing after getting through #6.
• "5/1/2010","7/7/0/7+ 2-3. Knocked 3rd red in opening. Took my eyes off her for # 3 tunnel in closing, she turned wrong way then ran past jump #4 for runout.
• "7/3/2010"," 7/0/7+2-6  Lots of “this jump?”  on 2nd red and then knocked it, more “this jump” on 3rd red, so out of time in closing on #7.
• "7/4/2010","3 reds. 7/7/6+2-3. Lots of running past jumps in opening; got them but used lots of time;  backjumped #3  in closing when I didn’t get in my front cross
• "7/17/2010","5/6/7/4+2. Lots of time-wasting “this jump?” in opening, knocked #3 in closing.
• "7/18/2010","0/7/7+2-5. Knocked 1st red. In closing, couldn't pull her off wrong obstacle when going to #6.
• "8/28/2010","Bleh, a mess."
• "8/29/2010","5/6.  Knocked 3rd red and couldn’t recover.
• "9/6/2010","6/0/6/1+2-7. In opening, knocked 2nd red and #4.  Got all through closing.
• "9/11/2010","6/5/5/5+0. Beautiful opening, then knocked #2 in closing.
• "9/12/2010","6/6/1/3+2-7. In op, missed wv entry so didn’t get 7 pts. Otherwise nice (but not enough for Super-Q)
• "10/9/2010","1/7/1+2-7; In opening, knocked bars on 7 and 5. Got through closing.
• "11/13/2010", Did whole course well, really nice run, but I did same red 2x so almost all our points were taken away. Figures.
• "11/14/2010","5/0/7/4+2-3. Bobbles bobbles, knocked bar on #5 in opening, not sure why didn't get to #4 in closing (out of time?).
• "1/23/2011","4/5/6/2+2-6. Didn’t come on call  so took 2 inst of 6 in opening. In closing, went in wrong weave entry on #7, which would’ve been SQ even with the 2 in the opening.
• "2/12/2011","5/7/0+2-7. Kn bar 3rd red in opening, otherwise not bad.
• "2/13/2011","7/7/6/5+2. Mostly nice. Kn bar #3 in closing. 

So--would I say that knocked bars are our biggest problem? Yeah, I'd say so.

Frog Music

SUMMARY: In my back yard.

This guy has quite a repertoire. (Guess I'm not going to be putting more chlorine into my pond any time soon.)

New Toy

SUMMARY: New camera.

I have a nice DSLR camera with a couple of decent lenses. I use this camera when I want to concentrate on my shots, when I want photos of more difficult situations, when I want better-quality shots (part due to the camera itself, part due to the control I have), when I'm thinking of photos that people might want to buy, I use this camera.

When I'm out hiking with crazy people (like the sierra club--average speed on hikes could be competitive at Indionapolis), or when I'm hiking with my dogs so need to focus on them (so to speak), when I'm dashing around madly from here to there, or any other time when I don't want a heavier, larger camera hanging around my neck--say, for example, walking an agility course, dashing around an agility site with or without the dogs, working at the score table but wanting a camera readily at hand--I like to have a little point-and-shoot that fits in my pocket and that i don't have to think too much about.

This old Olympus, which I bought in 2003, actually takes pretty good pictures. As long as--[fill in a long list of restrictions--it's not too dark, it's not too bright, nothing's moving, it's not too small for the camera to notice and focus on, you don't care about depth of field (where the background blurs out to emphasize something in the foreground), the graininess of the photo (ISO setting, just like film ISO values), being able to crop in (because it's only 4 megapixels compared to most nowadays are >10.].

Lately I've been too frustrated at missing too many shots because it took too long for the camera to open, or things were moving (it just won't take the photo if it can't clearly focus), or they're so grainy that they're pretty unusable (e.g., some sunset shots).

A couple of weeks ago, sorry old Olympus, one day this came home with me.

There are a lot of purely physical things that appeal to me. Like: The size of the viewing screen:

Or the width of the camera--slides much more easily into a pocket.

Start-up speed: From completely turned off, the new one is ready to shoot much more quickly. My timings--old one: 3.5 seconds; new one: 0.7 seconds.

Low light: The new Canon seems to work better in less-than perfect lighting conditions--the photos above of the Olympus (using the Canon) were done in natural light near a window, and it took perfectly lovely shots without the flash. The Olympus insisted that it needed the flash.

Controls: The old one has no control over ISO, speed, or aperture. Well--minimal, but only by inference. For example, you can tell it to not use the flash in a low-light situation, and it accordingly uses a slower shutter speed. Which is usually insufficient. The new one--I can set it into full auto mode just like the old one, or partial auto (which I use a lot on my SLR, too), or go aperture priority, shutter priority, or full manual if I want! And sometimes I want!

Sheer raw data:

	Old Olympus	New Canon
Megapixels	3.2	10
Aperture	f3.1 to 5.2 (auto only)	f2.8 to 8.0 (controllable)
Speed	1/2 sec to 1/1000 sec (auto only)	15 sec to 1/1600 sec (controllable)
ISO	60-400 (auto only)	80-3200 (controllable)
r7c1	r7c2	r7c3
Weight	213g	193g (.7 oz lighter)
lens	Equiv to 35 to 105mm on 35mm	Equiv to 28 to 105mm on 35 mm
Focus modes	Single	Single, AI servo, manual
Zoom	optical: 3.0 digital: 3.8, total = 11x	optical: 3.8 digital: 4.0, total=15x

Video: They both take video--I never used it on the old one for some reason; seemed difficult to me although it's not, really: Press one button to see the Settings display, another button to switch to movies. The new one seems easier--it's a dial setting on the top. I've been playing with the new one's videos a bit, as you may have noticed.

Dislikes: One thing I don't like so much about the new camera: The battery and card are under the same little door. The card pops out with just a little push. So, when I'm inserting a fresh battery, I keep popping the card out. That ranges from minor annoyance to the possibility of the card falling out at a really bad time. 

One thing I haven't decided about yet. The new camera takes a special rechargeable battery. The Canon brand costs $40-60 each. (Generic for $20ish, but they don't seem to rate well.) At least they're rechargeable, so if you have 2 of them, you can switch them and never throw one away or pay more. On the other hand, there's something to be said for being able to drop into a drug store or supermarket and buy a new battery on the spur of the moment for the Olympus when you've forgotten to, say, recharge. And, in a pinch, I can use two AAs in my Olympus. Sure, the longer-lasting battery packs for the Olympus typically run $9-12 each, but i don't spend any electricity recharging them, and they're available instantly. But, when done, they became hazardous waste. I probably spend $60 a year on those batteries. So--still pondering.  The rechargeable/cost/convenience issue is similar to my DSL battery.

Oh--and my current card reader doesn't read the card from the new camera, so I actually have to have a separate cord and actually plug the camera into the computer to be able to transfer photos. I'll have to see whether I can get a newer version of the card reader that'll handle these cards.

Results: Does the new one take better photos, that's one big question, and does it solve my issues with the old one, that's the other big question. I've only just begun to play around and can't actually yet answer yet, although the start-up speed improvement is a biggie.

Here's a quick comparison of both cameras on full auto setting. They're pretty comparable. The first one has slightly richer color, is slightly sharper (although that could be me rather than the camera), doesn't blow out the brightest whites quite so much, and the background's blur is more pleasing, less distracting. It's good that I like it better, because it's with the new camera.

Here's another set in automatic. They picked essentially the same exposure, so the lighting is OK in both, although achieved it with slightly different aperture and shutter speeds. What's obviously different is the automatic white balance settings--the first is much bluer and the second is much yellower. My slight preference is for the first one (again, the newer camera), and indeed, if I open them both in Photoshop Elements and apply auto color correction, it makes the 2nd look much more like the first. So my judgment matches that of software. ;-)

Here they are, cropped in--I'm not sure whether the softness (that is, not quite in focus) aspect of the 2nd (from the older camera) is due to the camera or due to me trying to take two quick snapshots without picking my focus point carefully. Will have to experiment more.

That's all the camera geeky stuff for today! The weekend's almost over and we haven't practiced ANY agility once again, except for lots and lots of tunnels (because they're fun). Oh, and while on my knees in the garden doing some weeding, I'd tell Boost "weave" or "thru" without any body language involved, and she'd have to find the obstacle and do it correctly to get the toy. She was really good at it! Hmm. So it's *my presence* that's messing her up! Maybe I should shoot some vids with the new camera--

Best Agility View in the Universe

SUMMARY: From Power Paws agility field at night.

Milestones--literally

SUMMARY: Odometer, gas prices

Since we went two weeks without agility class or agility of any kind, maybe I'm not driving as much. Although I am doing a little commuting lately.

Thursday sometime, MUTT MVR went past this nice round milestone, and I wasn't doing anything related to dogs, unlike most other significant odometerifications.

It's been two whole weeks since I've needed to buy gas. Back then, at the discount station nearby, I was shocked--shocked!-- to see what prices had gone up to:

Yesterday--same station, 14 days later, brand new shock:

Those drives out to agility trials are looking less and less appealing again.  And bad timing for me to decide that commuting to my client's site instead of mostly working at home is a good idea. Ah, well.

Poor Mr. Weasel

SUMMARY: Favorite toy

Tika originally loved Mr. Weasel because it had a totally cool ch-ch-chee weasel noise-making sound when you chewed on it. We went through 2 Mr. Weasels, and the sound maker broke on both, and then they stopped making them. This was at least a couple of years ago.

He has had his noisemaker organ replaced with squeakers a couple of times.

Also, he has a lot of seams, and the seams just come apart even if the dog isn't per se attempting to shred the toy (as Jake was wont to do). Human Mom, even though she has dozens of other newer toys lying in wait in the closet, keeps stitching Mr. Weasel back together.

Maybe it's the shape and the size that appeal to Tika so much. Maybe she just remembers the noisemaker organ fondly. Anyway, we'll keep trying to keep Mr. Weasel employed in a together manner as long as possible. He lives in the closed-off living room, so he can come out and play only on special occasions. (And Boost likes him, too. But Boost likes almost anything obsessively if you play with it with her a few times.)

Waste Not, Want Not

SUMMARY: Wordless Wednesday

Do You Wanna?

SUMMARY: Go for a walk?

Tika's response--part 1. Repeat several times.

Tika's response--part 2. Repeat several times.

Boost showing that leashie who's boss.

Respects to David

SUMMARY: He was an amazing man.

This afternoon I'll be attending A Celebration of David's Life. For the last several weeks, I've had a chance to celebrate it a little each day as I've collected information for, and created, a handout for today's event.

One can say only that David was a remarkable man. ...No, that's not quite right. As people have sent me their stories about David, I've seen the same words time and again: Joy, happy, intelligent, smart, funny, generous, enjoyed life, liked trying new things, sharing, positive attitude, never gave up, as well as remarkable. He had a successful technical and management career, a list of publications longer than your kitchen table, a book of poetry, and memberships (often in leadership positions) in dozens of organizations, many of them involved in community service.

They are expecting well over 200 people at the Celebration, from all over the country and from a variety of activities and social groups. I've often thought how nice it would be to be able to do something like this when someone was still alive, so that they could see how many lives they've touched, and how. Unfortunately, David can't be there, because brain cancer saw to that last year. Isn't it an interesting thing, in our culture? If I were to say, hey, let's all get together for this once-ever Celebration of Fred Smith, and Fred is looking forward to seeing all of you, I can guarantee that the turnout would be half of what one would get if Fred predeceased the celebration.

So I can only hope that somehow, some way, David's spirit can feel what we feel for him and rest in deeper peace for it.

David's wife, Sue, has been a friend for 20 years. The two of them are the only friends who've ever purchased season subscriptions to San Jose Repertory Theater with me. This was David's second marriage (first ended due to mental illness of the other party), and he brought his love and his two children into Sue's life barely more than 10 years ago.

Sue said, "David participated in an online game about caring called Ruby's Bequest, which was created by a friend of ours (Ken Eklund). The game took place in a fictional town called Deepwell. This is what David wrote to the other players at the end of the game:"

Being Meaningful

Reading the progress of Ruby's Bequest over the years has caused me to seriously reflect on what is missing from my life. (I have brain cancer, am immune impaired, and am totally disabled.) It wasn't losing my job and the reduction in standard of living. It wasn't being forced into retirement 10 years before I was ready. It isn't being stuck within these four walls most days, the reduced ability to think and speak, or the prospect of an eminent death. What drives me to the brink of depression some days is: I wasn't ready to stop being "meaningful". I don't mean being famous. I mean things like volunteer teaching in schools, helping kids with science projects, volunteering at food distribution sites, socializing shelter animals, giving blood, protesting in the streets -- nothing that you will ever get recognition for. In Deepwellian Speak, I suppose I should say: I was never ready to not be able to actively "care".

If you'd like to read a bit more about David's life and how he affected others, here's the front cover of the handout; you can download and read the whole PDF here.