a Taj MuttHall Dog Diary: My Hearts, My Dogs, the Same Cycles

Monday, March 15, 2021

My Hearts, My Dogs, the Same Cycles

SUMMARY: Struck by the similarities between these posts after Tika and after Chip.

It's like Groundhog Day. The movie. 
I've been here before.

Apparently my mind and heart go the same way each time I have to say goodbye.  Certainly I'd have expected similarities, but I just tripped over a post from 2015 and realized that I had written essentially the same thing last July.

The post, near the beginning:

Don’t want to be reminded of the absence of a dog at every turn in every room. My initial reaction this morning was to load Zorro up into the car with me and go away somewhere for four days. Then I started realizing that, if I did that, I would be coming back to all the memories still right in front of me. It’s not that I want to erase Chip. I just want to reduce what I see.

March 25, 2015: Clearing Away

The post began: 

It's not that I don't want to remember Tika--I do--but I don't want things ambushing me everywhere I turn.
After she was gone, I started right away in clearing away everything that I knew would sucker-punch me in the gut if I were to see them.

And yet I keep lining up my heart for more. Usually I think it's all worth it.


  1. You have had so much loss with your dogs...so many of them were way too young. You deserve a nice 14 or 15 year relationship with a happy pup. I don't know how I'm going to get through the days after Katie leaves me. I guess the same way everyone does...one moment at a time. I don't know that we will be able to line our hearts up again though.

  2. Thanks, Dawn.
    I think I've mentioned that, after my first dog (Amber) died, it was 2 years before I could even imagine bringing in a dog to fill her metaphorical shoes. Even then, I ended up getting a dog that looked a lot like her (Remington). YOu and Katie have a particularly special relationship; I think that blogging about one's pups, and particularly from their points of view, bring them so much closer.

    My dogs' lifespans have varied--so far, the long-lived ones got quite a few years on the cancer ones. So, Amber: 13, Sheba: 16, Jake: 15, Tika 13.

    I just think that I still haven't managed to recover from T & B going at essentially the same time. I am far far far from the only one to experience that, but I'm the only ME so far that has.