Trainer Training

Just attended a 4-day seminar by John Rogerson, a British dog trainer who's one of the top trainers around. Seminar was geared towards people who provide dog-training classes. John's a fascinating, entertaining speaker. I took 54 pages of notes--argh--and I learned a lot. Now to apply it all to *my* dogs!

Actually--now to get a good night's sleep.

ILPing Tika

I've been almost convinced by my various friends that I should ILP Tika with the AKC. (Indefinite Listing Privilege: A registration that says "she's probably a purebred but we have no way to prove it.") Makes her eligible to compete in performance events. Don't know whether I want to. But I'm also discovering that *every* agility organization has plenty of things for me to allow myself to be annoyed about if I feel like being annoyed. So I try to focus on Being There, participating, having a good time with my dogs, praying that the squirrels are on vacation--

See http://www.akc.org/registration/ilpex.cfm.

So do you think she looks like an Aussie? Certainly lots of people do.

Another Week of Dog Training / Tika Possessed by Squirrels

Sunday and Monday I'll be doing dog agility in Elk Grove. This is NADAC agility, which doesn't penalize you unduly for training in the ring. (That is, you earn an elimination in the run but can continue. In other venues, they toss you out of the ring on your butt with possibly invective from the judge for being so rude.) We probably need this opportunity for Tika.

Then Tue-Fri I'll be commuting daily to Novato for a dog-training class from John Rogerson, a guru of dog behavior & training from England. That'll be long commute--over an hour each way. Luckily someone else in this neighborhood (a club member) is also attending, so we'll carpool. Can't take our dogs; we'll be practicing his techniques on shelter dogs at the humane society where the seminar takes place. Looking forward to it. Not looking forward to coming home after a long day and having wild dogs say "Let's PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY AUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!"

There were squirrels everywhere at Tika's training this week. This week, certainly, it seemed like such strong atavistic prey drive that she didn't even care when I left the ring and hid. Sometimes that works. Maybe she's figured out that I'll come back eventually. More likely I think she just didn't care at the moment. We spent the next half hour walking around the perimeter on leash (her on one end, me on the other), attempting to get her to focus on me. She mostly did what I asked, but with a desperate frenzy; have a couple of blood-blisters on my fingers (from treats) to show for it. And her attention was *never* fully on me; one ear or both remained cocked towards where the squirrels were. And if we happened to be near a tree where they decided to dance, she was almost uncontrollable.

Went for a walk Tuesday evening, and a dog came out of the driveway about 30 feet away, just a shy, friendly dog, and she also went nuts. I tried to get her to sit as soon as I saw what was going on, but she really was almost uncontrollable. Even with the gentle leader. I had one hand in her collar, one in her gentle leader, one under her collar with fingers under muzzle for control as we learned in class, one hand trying to hold her mouth shut because the screeching, slathering, snarling frenzy of noise coming from her mouth was painful to my ears, instigating to Jake, frightening (fortunately) to the other dog, and I didn't know what to the people who were standing there with their dog.

OK, I don't think I really have that many hands. I was more than a little disconcerted. She's nuts when there's another dog around the neighborhood, but this is the worst I've seen in a while. This was like the first few weeks or months all over again. After I walked the dogs home, I went back to the house to apologize and to explain that I don't really have a dog-aggressive, vicious (maybe viscous) dog. Fortunately they have 2 dogs of varied training themselves, and we had a nice long chat, and they claimed that they didn't even think twice about the whole thing. Very circumspect of them.

It was a bad couple of days.

Plus I've got a 40-hour work week (plus some commuting) going, first in a while, and I'm exhausted, dogs are neglected, house is neglected, having some bad allergic reactions to something (lips swelling up?!--started with middle upper lip wed morning, moved to upper right by wed evening; thursday morning had moved around to lower right, by end of day lower middle; this morning very slightly lower left, but mostly I think it's gone; an odd progression with no logic that I can figure), don't have rental income and it's the end of the month; but at least I do now have a contract for a couple of months, which I had also been stressing about. OK, time to go for a walk with... the dogs... ba-dum, ba-dum.....ba-dum, ba-dum.... (think sharks)

Bee Agility

Here is why we use herding dogs instead of pollen-gathering insects for agility. I have this big ugly greenhouse outside my office, covering the outside back wall of my house. I have been slowly dismantling it. Where the door used to be, there is now nothing but a narrow steel frame and a huge door-sized open space. Where the lower wall next to the door used to be, there is now nothing but a narrow metal frame surrounding a huge wall-sized open space about 3' high and 5' wide. Above that, and next to the door, is the only solid surface remaining: the window, which I didn't get around to completely unscrewing.

For the last 10 minutes, a bumblebee has been trying to get out through the lower corner of the window, about 2" to the left of the gaping door-shaped space and about 2" above the gaping wall-sized space. We won't mention the whole bloomin' rest of the interior of the greenhouse in which he could buzz around to his little overstressed heart's content if he'd bother to back up about 1/4".

uh-oh... Tika is starting to watch him, now--thinking-- Nope, coming from a culture in which eating an enemy's brains imbues you with their intelligence, she apparently decided it would be a risky number to partake of Mr. Bee. So she's lying down inside the greenhouse, lazily observing and taking notes.

Tika Is a Good Girl/Jake Propels Himself/Cancer Lives On/The Next Thurber

Tika was a very good girl in class yesterday. Got all of her contacts. Ran off only once, and I knew I didn't have her attention when I put her at the start line, and I was dumb and should have gotten her long leash for that attempt. But she did come back fairly quickly instead of running off to the far side. Didn't grab my feet at all, but I'm also trying to make sure she gets some kind of reward when I screw up (which, unfortunately, *I* was doing a lot) instead of making her frustrated.

But she still doesn't walk nicely on a leash! Jeez, it's always back to square 1. Maybe I should just tie her in a cart and pull the cart...nah, pulling stuff is bad for my back.

Jake's back seems to have been doing fine all week. I've been tossing squeakies for him on the ground, not too far, but he still propels himself to them at rocket speed and lands on them full force. So I've been trying to toss them directly in front of him so he can just grab them in the air without jumping or scooping.

We don't have agility this weekend, so that's good for resting up.

I keep getting email from people who find Remington's cancer site on the web and write to say thanks for having the information and the story. So many dogs-- so sad. Worst are the ones who've had more than one dog with hemangiosarcoma. Sucks sucks sucks. I don't know what I'd do.

Just read a wonderful compilation of Thurber dog stories, articles, and notes. Wish I could write like that. I've been thinking for years about how to write the story of *my* dogs in a way that would entertain. I can do it, I know I can. --I think I can. --I might be able to. --Next week. --Or later.

Agility Camp 2003

4 solid days of agility learning. Again. Yow. Physically exhausting--walked over 8 miles each day, between going back & forth between camp & rings, and walking & running the courses. Did pretty good, although Tika's stays at the start line went from pretty good to nonexistent. One of Friday's instructors classified it as start-line stress, when she advanced from merely not staying to running out of the ring.

Feet-grabbing problem went from almost nonexistent to pretty bad to a little better--Susan Garret suggested making sure that I reward her, a lot, during course runs so she knows she's doing things right. I think she was also the one that suggested trying to get her moving again and, if I can, to then continue running to a spot where I can reward her. She cautioned against substituting any behavior (such as high five or sitting, which other people had suggested), which I was a bit worried about, actually. Also cautioned against rewarding dog for going wrong--at least one instructor said that the instant we go wrong on course, toss the toy for her to get. But I think I kind of like that, although I can see that it could contribute to her wanting to grab something when things go awry. Susan also said to put her up in her crate a bit if I can't get her off my feet. Every instructor who saw the behavior suggested something different for dealing with it. Was a little frustrating.

BUT other than those known problems, we did pretty good. She did slide off a couple of contacts and/or leave early after stopping, but no blatant fly-offs. But then, we probably didn't do more than a dozen contacts all weekend, if that.

Jake's back: Jake's back is quite sore again. I was scheduled to do a fun match this weekend in Elk Grove. Drove straight there from Camp, set up, went to bed. Jake was iffy in late afternoon and early evening, and seemed to be much worse in the middle of the night even though I gave him rimadyl at dinnertime. AND it was frigging cold and I couldn't get warm, and neither could he, so I packed everything up at 4 in the morning and came home so I could see the vet. Had to stop in Livermore and take a 45 minute nap because I was getting so drowsy.

'Course he seemed much better by the time we got here, although still yelping occasionally. Vet said his neck and lower back are sore but nothing drastic. Suggested doing xrays again, since it's been 2 years since the last ones (and since his last episode of back pain). All of this might have been precipitated by Tika landing straight on his back during frisbee Wednesday morning.

Where Do These Things Come From?

Had a pretty good weekend at the Bay Team trial. Life seems to be picking up. I have started to feel a little bit at home in my "new" yard for the first time (since buying the place in Sept '01). Woke up middle of the night briefly, but then Jake decided he needed to go out, and then I was wide awake. So I was up for a bit, had hot chocolate, read for a while, went back to bed. Was just dozing off, jake's snooker runs running vaguely through my head, when all of a sudden I was THERE (where?), walking Remington on leash, and he was turning back towards me--and I woke up in a panic--I forgot Rem at the trial! I didn't do his runs! I didn't bring him home! He wasn't in the room! And of course, instantly realizing--he hadn't been there at all, he isn't here, he never will be here. All washing over me in an instant, from nowhere. Waking me completely in tears.

I did think about & talk about Rem this weekend, all in a matter-of-fact way (e.g., "My dog loves this rainy weather"; "Yeah, this always got Rem pretty excited, too."). Only once, when I was talking with someone about new dogs, and I was trying to say that it would be a while before I got another one again, for this reason & that reason & because I'd still think of it as filling in the spot left gaping empty by Remington--and I couldn't finish the sentence because it lodged in my throat and nothing at all dared come out.

So I don't really know where that rude awakening came from this morning, 2 months after Rem died. I'm still rattled and overwhelmed, a couple of hours later. More sleep not possible.

Wanted to say some about all of Jake's qualifying runs this weekend (everything except 1 standard, including 2 gamblers!), but I've got too much else to do before leaving this morning for Power Paws Camp for a week.

A Week In The Life--A Musical--You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Throw the Squeakie One More Time

Let's Go Strollin': Yesterday morning we managed to walk all the way over to my sister's house (about 1/3 mile) with hardly any pulling, just the occasional (every 10-20 steps) pop-turn or stop-wait or walk-into-oh-my-how'd-that-happen? reminder. Walking back was a little tougher because I didn't avoid walking past the fence of a yard with dogs in the back, and we had large quantities of lunging and severe corrections, but we finally walked past without pulling much at all.

This morning we did a more familiar walk, and Tika wasn't quite as bad as square one, but we never got more than half a block in either direction, because the yanking & lunging would get worse the further we went. Hrm.

Tiny bubbles, in my yard... Tried blowing bubbles to see whether Tika might like chasing them as much as Rem did. But no. Taste stupid. Stupid mom. Jake never did chase them. What am I going to do with all this bubble stuff?

Ain't Misbehavin'? Tika was a brat in class Wednesday, too--not staying at start, flying off dogwalk, running away after the geese in the field, sniffing another dog's butt, going to the obstacle in front of her instead of responding to "Teek, come!", and so on.

So when she'd do the wrong thing, I hooked her leash to the fence, got Jake out of the car, snuggled with him & played with him and then did one of the exercises with him--and Lo and Behold!--the next exercise Tika would do perfectly. But then we'd put Jake away, and she's start out OK, and then do some butt-headed thing again.

So it's not a not-understanding-what-to-do issue, it's understanding that she can't decide what activity she'll participate in now (e.g., doing agility vs. chasing squirrels, or doing agility with her mom vs. doing whatever she feels like doing on the course).

SOOO--We'd been discussing this for a couple of weeks, but our instructor now says for sure Tika's too immature to be out doing competitions, especially ones in which I can't correct the problems as they appear. So I've pulled her from everything except Jumpers at next weekend's Bay Team trial; signed her up for 2 days of fun match that I had been planning on skipping, and then the next trial or 2 are both NADAC, where I *can* do some training in the ring, so we'll leave those in place. Will decide later in May about the June CPE trials we're already signed up for.

Can't Get No Squirrelifaction, Though I Tried, and I Tried: Poor little half-grown squirrel got the bejeezus scared out of him on Saturday. Dogs apparently didn't actually catch him, but when I went out to see why they were continuing to bark frantically for hours on end, I found this little guy welded to a branch about my eye level, panting frantically, his eyes about twice the size of his head.

I chased the dogs inside and left him alone for about 10 minutes. Went back out--still glued to exactly the same spot, although he wasn't panting any more. I poked at him with a long stick to get him to move--which he did, around to the side of the branch away from me so I couldn't see him. (Or so he thought--except for his little desperate toes clinging to the bark.) We repeated that a few times, and then he started looking a little more annoyed than scared and went up and down a foot or 2 a couple of times.

So I went back inside for another few minutes, and this time he had removed himself to safer places when I came back out.

Poor baby. He definitely wasn't a full-grown guy. I hate it when the dogs actually catch a squirrel. Nothin' I can do after they've managed to grab and shake a couple of times. At least this guy probably learned a valuable lesson.

Glory and Disaster

Tika's USDAA weekend

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Not sure whether this was the worst weekend we've had, but it has to be close. Back in Feb, when we were doing pretty good, in a fit of ambition I entered her in the DAM tournament AND novice. In order of the runs:

Saturday:

• Novice gamblers: Didn't stay at the start line. Removed her. Didn't have problems with staying the rest of the weekend.
• Team jumpers: A pretty complex course, and we did it without E-ing! Missed weave entry & had to go back for it, and crashed a double-jump big time. Grabbed my feet as we crossed the finish line. (I'm trying to put her into a down after each occurrence but that doesn't really work, either.)
• Novice Standard: Flew off A-frame. I stopped and said "Tika!" She came back & started to put herself back on the contact, so I quickly went on. She flew off the dogwalk. I stopped again. She came back and quickly DID put herself back on the contact. I had to take her off, of course. Never got to the teeter.
• Novice jumpers: I crossed behind a little early and pulled her off a jump, which she then back-jumped. Otherwise she was fast & with me. Grabbed my feet as we crossed the finish line.
• Team gamblers: In opening, knocked a bar. Missed one of 2 weave entrances. Flew off 1st teeter but I think she didn't realize it was a teeter because she looked as stunned as I felt. Brought her back & she did 2nd teeter perfectly. Tried to race around to get the gamble when the whistle blew; she started grabbing my feet when I did a front cross to get her into position. Managed to get her to take the first couple of obstacles but then she was off course. When she came back to me as I headed out of the ring, she grabbed my feet. I tried to push her away and said "Cut that out!" Judge said "Don't correct your dog. Leave the ring please." So I had to walk all the rest of the way out of the ring with her hanging on my feet. Argh.
• Tunnel madness: Lots of fun. Our specialty. ;-) She was 2nd fastest dog out of 100 entries. Worked away from me very nicely and kept moving. Until we crossed the finish line, when she grabbed my feet. 181 yards in 32.31 seconds, with a couple of interesting sharp turns after straight dog-rocketing tunnels.
• Team standard: 3rd obstacle was dogwalk. She ran past it. I called her back and put her on it. She FLEW off the far end, raced to the far side of the ring, ran around the fence they had erected between there & the novice ring, charged into the novice ring (they were course building at the time, thank heavens), ran all the way around the novice ring full speed a couple of times, went to a couple of people who called her but then dodged away. Got her back when she realized she couldn't see me any more & came looking for me--THEN she came when I called her.

Sunday:

• Novice pairs: No aframe. Stuck the teeter beautifully. The dogwalk's end was pointed directly at her crate--don't know whether that's why she decided to get that contact, but she did, although it was sloppy--she stopped halfway down & looked back at me. Then slowly did 2-on/2-off. When I came up next to her to say "good girl," she lunged off the side towards me (leaving her back feet on the DW) and grabbed my feet. I managed to get her moving and we finished the course. We were the first dog; she grabbed my feet in the exchange box and I had to work most of my partner's run to get her to stay down and let go of my feet. She also knocked a bar and missed up contact on DW.
• Novice standard: Missed up contact on dogwalk, then flew off (4th obst.) and I took her off.
• Team snooker: I picked a fairly simple course--over a red at a fairly sharp angle & into a tunnel. But she ran *past/around* the red and hit the tunnel before I could stop her. 0 points.
• Novice snooker: A very easy course--over a red straight across and into a tunnel. She knocked the red bar & hit the tunnel before I could stop her. Another 0 points. I felt badly about those 2 runs because she didn't really do anything wrong for a baby dog but we couldn't keep going.
• Team relay: A weird bobble getting into weaves at an angle where she ended up going around a tunnel instead and coming back to me OVER it. Grabbed my feet and I had to gesture with my whole body a couple of times to get her to let go and get into the weaves. FLEW off the aframe big time but stayed right with me to come back to the tunnel under the Aframe & finish. Grabbed my feet after I handed over the baton.

Sooooo-- except for jumpers & tunnelers--we didn't have an excellent time. And it's 90% contacts and feet grabbing, with some up contacts on DW and some bar knocking. Oh, yeah, and a little bit of handling, too. Just a short list.

Jake's USDAA weekend

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Good thing Jake was running well this weekend. (Except for gamblers. Argh! Two VERY doable gambles, and we didn't get either!). In order of the runs:

Saturday:

• P3 Gamblers: A good, fast, high-scoring opening. In gamble--"Turn? What's a turn?" Still good for a 1st place.
• P3 Standard: A good boy. 1st place and Qualifying. Pretty light on his contacts.
• Oscar's Relay: Light on contacts but paying attention and fast enough. Partner was a very novice dog with an off-course, but we were still 2nd out of 13 pairs.
• P3 Snooker: Wahoo! Just like old times! A stellar performance, 4 reds with a 5-6-7-7 opening & got all the way through with almost 10 seconds to spare! Good for a 1st place and super-Q in P3; would've been 7th in Masters with 6 SQs, but I'd have probably tried for another 7 in that case & just might have gotten it.
• Tunnel madness: Pretty fast but not Superjake. In this one, he was competing against all the standard 22" dogs, most of whom are younger than his 11.5 yrs. (Not that that's a good excuse--look at the snooker!) Also I forgot where I was going at one point and we probably lost 3 seconds while I turned him around and got him back on track. He was 7 seconds slower than Tika.

Sunday:

• P3 gamblers: Dag nabbit--carried out *too* far and didn't come in when I said "come come come come COME!" A conservative opening was good for only 2nd place.
• P3 Standard: Another very nice run, also light on the contacts, also 1st place and Q.
• P3 Jumpers: Wahoo! An excellent dog. 1st place and Q. And now it's online in a 1.8 MB movie for your viewing pleasure!

Comfort and Ashes

Wednesday morning was one of the nicest I can remember in a very long time. I woke up sort of slowly. Dogs always seem to know when I'm waking up, even if I don't think I've moved or changed my breathing. Jake hasn't always been snuggy in the morning lately--well, he was never really snuggy, but he used to come over & check my ears for damage that might have occurred during the night, and to get scritched. Tika likes to snuggle but I have to get her to come up and lie next to me. She often lies down next to my legs and presents her tummy for rubs, which I can't reach because my arms are up with me where I'm lying down.

That morning, she came up right next to me on my right side, and jake came right up next to me on my left side. I turned on my side towards Jake, and he lay over on his side, back pressed against me, head on my lower arm, while I rubbed him gently and stroked Tika with my other hand. I was so relaxed. I gradually stopped rubbing, and we all just lay there, me with my eyes closed, warm dog bodies relaxed against me. I haven't felt that content or relaxed in a great while. I think I like having only 2 dogs, especially 2 who aren't touchy about how close the other dog is.

Last night I called the emergency clinic to find out why Remington's ashes had never appeared. Turns out they've been there, in a cupboard, waiting for me to pick them up, for quite a while. No one had called. Person on duty had no idea why not. I went right over and picked them up, feeling guilty and dumb at the same time. Guilty because Rem hated staying at the hospital, and especially when I couldn't be there with him. And dumb because there's nothing left of him but ashes and memories and I really seriously doubt that the ashes care one way or another where they are. It's only me who cares.

I still don't know what to do with what's left of him. Ashes are sealed in a nice cedar box, currently with his collar and tags wrapped around it, sitting on my table next to his photos and a nice plant that the Mixed Breed Dog Club sent in his memory. Never asked for my other dogs' ashes. Didn't know what I'd do with them. Still don't. Have thought I might try to distribute them out there in nature somewhere where he would have liked to run and play, but I think he would have liked to be with me even more.

Dang, for first time in a while, I'm crying again.

He was such a good boy.

Another Weekend, Another Agility Trial

Agility in the rain is SO much--um--fun. Saturday it never stopped dropping moisture from the sky, sometimes only a drizzle, sometimes closer to a downpour. Not bad enough at any time to cancel the trial, although dogs stopped running briefly a couple of times. Fields remained good all the way through, which wouldn't have been true at many sites. Dixon May Fairgrounds isn't a bad place for agility. And it's only about an hour and forty-five minutes from here. I had planned on camping out overnight so I wouldn't have that drive again early Sunday a.m., but I didn't want to try setting up camp in the rain, so I indeed came home Saturday night & got up again at 5 Sunday morning. Nice thing was that it was a small trial, so I was done running by noon both days.

Jake had an OK weekend. Again I felt as if we weren't clicking on most things. He had a decent gamble opening--not awesome--got his contacts--and missed the gamble just barely; did better than most dogs. I think only one dog of any height got that gamble. A few got it over time, but not many of those, either. He Qed in one standard and won/Qed jumpers; other standard run we were just completely out of synch--he also stopped at the 10th weave pole to sniff at a disturbed spot on the grass, then popped out, and every time I'd try to put him back in there, he'd sniff at the same spot and pop out again. Also big wide turns and missed obstacles and wrong obstacles and jeez what a mess. Snooker was ok except he slipped behind me to take a wrong obstacle. Oh, well.

Tika is such a brat about her contacts. We practiced them all week at home. Did them fine in class. Practiced on the ground and on the trailer ramp at the trial. Came home Saturday night and drilled them. At the trial--flies right off, not even attempting to do them properly. Has been doing her teeters well, but not dogwalk or Aframe. I just put her in a down, asked for her leash, and walked her off the field each time. So that was 3 out of the 5 runs-- In Snooker we didn't get too far; she got sucked in by a tunnel that I was trying to pull her away from, with me standing 15 feet away yelling "Come come come come!" to no avail. But we haven't really practiced running *among* obstacles without taking them, which is a whole additional skill.

Jumpers was a lot of fun--basically a big X across the field joined at the top, with tunnels at the 2 top corners. Holy rocket ship. She did the whole thing in less than 17 seconds; most dogs were in the 20+ range. In fact, she knocked one bar and even with the 5-point penalty added to her time, was fast enough to win her class. One other dog had a faster time--16.08, while hers I think was 16.8--one of those fast german shepherds whose stride is so long that, on a course like this, running full out, I don't think Tika could match him--although maybe, because one leg of the X did curve so that at one point the dog was looking at the wrong jump, which Tika did, although she called off it, she did slow down and change her path a bit to recover. Might have been 1 second's worth.

But to make me feel better, the Shepherd knocked 3 or 4 bars. :-)

She's gone back to pretty much pulling on the leash full time on our walks. Jeez. Now what?

Brain vs Emotion

Yesterday late afternoon, I was at the computer, Jake was lying beside me, Tika was out back. All of a sudden over in the direction of Rem's old bed a dog stood up and shook off with a jingle of the collar--just like Rem used to do when he thought I had been at the computer too long. I looked up sharply, for a fleeting moment really actually expecting to see Remington before reality caught up with me. In fact it was Tika, who apparently had come in and lain down while I wasn't paying attention.

It's been 4 weeks. It'll be a lot longer until those expectations fade away.

Walkies!

Holy cow, we actually almost had a real walk this morning! We're still a long way from perfect, but I actually found myself striding along and able to enjoy myself! You can tell I'm excited because I'm using multiple !'s ! I decided not to go down the part of the street where there are barking dogs in several back yards because she just gets too excited and I just didn't want to be doing that many corrections after starting out so nicely. I even took off her gentle leader for the last half of the walk and just used the buckle collar! Getting across the street to the house was still perhaps the most challenging, but it still took no more than eight or twelve tries, nothing at all like the other day.

It could happen, it could happen! (singing in a childlike happy voice)

Tika Might Be A Real Aussie!

There's been debate since I got Tika on whether she's all Aussie or a mix. Some people think she could be all aussie, just nowhere near show lines; others think that there's got to be a mix. A couple of things are her ears (way more erect than aussie's) and her face (longer and thinner). Just bought a book on Australian Shepherds--and there's a photo of a dog very much like Tika--including the same ear that won't tulip over all the time! What do *you* think? (In the photo I've already got of her, you can't really see her ruff, which is almost nonexistant compared to most Aussies'--very much like the other dog's! I'll have to try to get a full frontal foto of Tik.)

Tika first; Aussie like Tika second; more standard Aussie next.

Trying to Ease Off the Reminders

Today I rearranged the dog beds.

I've had 3 in a row along the wall across from my desk--Rem's on the right (a raised PVC bed w/big soft cushion), Jake's on the left (an ancient upholstered chair), and another, smaller, raised PVC bed with a fleece mat in the middle. No one ever used the third one much. There's a heater vent at bed level in the wall between Rem's bed and the middle one. Remington simply loved lying next to the heater vent, so that was perfect for him. The other 2 don't much like it, I don't think.

I've been trying to see whether either of them will use Rem's old bed. Washed the cover so it didn't smell as much like Rem. Both would hop on and off, but not stay. So a week or so ago I moved just the big cushion onto the floor on the opposite side of the aisle. Both of them have now spent time lounging there, but especially Tika.

Today I moved it back onto the raised bed. I also moved all the beds around so that they're no longer in the positions they were in while Remington was alive. I'm hoping that that will make it easier for the others to decide to use the beds more freely. And I'm hoping it will avoid the problem that everytime I notice Rem's empty bed in the same old corner, it stabs me.

We'll see whether the fact that everything is rearranged is actually *more* noticeable.

Walkies--Is There Any Hope At All?

Today was a little better than the last 4 days, which were as bad as when we started. Decided to do the full .66 mile around-the-block loop. Got stuck next to any yards with dogs barking in the back, and one with a dog sitting out in front. Then we got *really* stuck trying to cross the street and past the one house back to our house. I must've spent more than 5 minutes trying to convince Tika to pay attention. She just didn't and wouldn't. Sheesh. So much for a smart dog. And she had walked so *nicely* almost the whole block before that.

Sooooooo--I walked 1.71 miles in the .66 mile loop, given all the turn-and-go-the-other-ways that I did. No wonder I was tired!

Missing the Bigdog

I so badly want to hug Remington. I can almost feel the texture of his coat, the pressure of him leaning away from me because he hated being hugged, the patient forbearance as I pull his warm fifty pounds close and give him a good rub. Almost. But I *can't* feel it. Sh*t.

Life Goes On

At Madera two weeks ago, Tika got every one of her contacts all weekend. At the NADAC the next weekend, she was really good on Saturday & then started flying off on Sunday. This weekend, she couldn't get past the 1st contact all weekend without flying off. I started resorting to taking her off the field on Sunday, after redoing all day Saturday. She did OK in weavers--ran past one set and then took an off-course into a tunnel. Jumpers we had a knocked bar one day and a tunnel suck the next. Tunnelers I pulled her into the wrong end of a tunnel on Saturday and she did great on Sunday. So she got 1 Q all weekend out of 12 runs.

Jake was a good boy and got 9 out of 12 Qs--one miss was a fairly easy gamble that was my fault (to make up for it, the next day he got a really tough one that fewer than 1 in 5 dogs got). One flyoff on a dogwalk, which is HIS fault by now. One missed jump in a jumpers course, again mostly my fault. Despite appearances, we didn't seem to be clicking all weekend. He was taking lots of wide slow turns and starting to miss obstacles (or almost miss them). Not sure what was up with that.

Today Tika's walking on a leash was almost back to square one. Deep sigh.

The Final FAQs

I have just updated Remington's Cancer FAQ with the last questions I can answer, things that people asked me before or after or that I asked before or after.

Tika Scared of Jake

Now this is weird. Yesterday and today (and maybe the day before?) Tika has been acting frightened of Jake half the time. I haven't seen anything on Jake's part that would warrant this, although of course they have been alone in the house together occasionally.

Last couple of days, when Jake has started to sniff her underparts, she reacted as if he had threatened her--first time she kind of snarled and spun away off the bed with her tail down (too short to go between her legs) and wouldn't come back onto the bed; the second time I was just skritching her ears and Jake came over, Mr. Casual, and started to sniff, and she skittered away so abruptly it was almost as if he'd bitten her--which he didn't.

Now here in the office, I offered to let her half onto my lap to give me a hug. She complied, but when Jake ambled over, she again tucked tail and ears and tried to hide on the far side of my chair. Wouldn't come back to snuggle with me at all, even after I got Jake to lie down (where he lay quietly, obsessively licking his feet). Wouldn't walk by Jake--tried to hide behind another chair when I tried to call her over. This is so odd. She has never seemed intimidated by either dog before, even when Rem was grouchy and landed on her for various transgressions.

I think she was still crashing into him with her ball outside this morning as per SOP, but now I'm not so sure about that.

I'm thinking it might be some kind of delayed reaction to Remington being gone, but I can't think why or how or what.

She has also been licking between the two outer toes on her right foot a lot since Wednesday. I can't find anything there, no cuts or irritation or anything that feels swollen or embedded. Her toenails were pretty long, so I trimmed them back. Hard to tell if she stubbed a toe or something.

Toenails: Explain to me how a dog can keep her dew claws worn down to a stub but the middle front toenails grow unimpeded.

Walking--It Could Happen!

Again today we got all the way to the end of the street with only a couple of turn/pops. Needed a few more just near the end with the dogs in the back yard. Needed several when we went around that corner; not sure what that's so exciting. Needed a few off and on after that. Only other rough spots were where there was a dog lying in someone's front yard as we walked by--that took a *long* time and actually required some corrections when she threw herself at the end of the leash. Then there was a dog walking on the other side of the street, which also took some attention as she tried running in circles or towards the street, and one correction when she started her shriek/barking.

But, man, what a difference. Hope this lasts.

This weekend it's NADAC up at Cal State Hayward. Supposed to be pretty warm. Already warm this morning and Tika was dashing into the shade in the back yard every time after I tossed her Tika Toy and she retrieved it. Still ran full out after it each time, but I wonder how she'll do on warmer days.

Pulling on the Leash

The thing about Tika that has stressed me out the longest and the most frequently is pulling on the leash. I tried weeks and weeks and weeks of working her alone, then with other dogs, with corrections or with goodies and a clicker, and never seemed to make progress. I taught Rem to pay attention/not pull with the turn-and-pop method--that is, as soon as the dog pulls (or isn't paying attention, or walks past you--pick a behavior and stick with it consistently), I turn on my heel and walk in the opposite direction, so the leash kind of "pops" the dog from the direction she was going. It took a long while--I don't remember how long, any more--but it did work.

But I couldn't do that with Rem, Jake, and Tika all at once. I tried it on my own with Tika for a while, but I was always trying to finish up to get the other dogs so I could do a *real* walk, and maybe I just didn't walk enough distance with her, or something. With all 3 dogs, I couldn't turn and pop without getting somebody tangled up. Also, Rem got the most frustrated of all of them whenever I stopped and realigned her (constantly--the method we learned in class) or turned and popped. So, with Remington gone, I decided that this was enough, Tika was going to learn to walk on a leash. Immediately I went into turn-and-pop mode while walking her and Jake. Jake gets a little confused-looking, because my turns appear arbitrary to him because they're not tied in to *his* behavior, but he seems to manage muchh better than Rem did. So it has been almost 3 weeks since Rem died, and in our 20-minute walks we've seldom gotten further than the end of the court or 2 houses beyond that in either direction.

Late last week (or early this week?), we managed to go all the way down the block (with lots of turns and pops, but slightly longer times between them) until we drew near the house at the end where there's a barking dog in the back yard, and we just couldn't manage to walk in that direction without Tika pulling. Yesterday we actually got past that house to the end of the street--still with turns and pops all along, but many fewer. Today--jeez--she didn't pull going out the front door, OR down the driveway, OR past the house to the end of the court, OR even around the corner. We had to do maybe half a dozen turn-pops before we got to the end of the street, but that was like an entire block with her not pulling on the leash! It was a miracle! And then--we actually walked all the way around the block today! There were about 2 places where we got stuck--turn/pop and then she'd pull again, so we were in a seemingly infinite loop--I think they were both near houses with dogs barking in the back yard--but then she mostly walked without pulling the entire last block and half home again. Yow. When we got to our court, we had to do a few more turn/pops, but not nearly as many as we've always done--and only ONCE going up the driveway to the back gate! It's been a *year*, dag nab it, that I've been trying to get her up the driveway without pulling constantly.

We'll see if this holds tomorrow--

And we're doing it with the gentle leader, still. So as soon as she's doing pretty consistently there, we'll go back to the buckle collar and see what happens. There's hope after all--

Memories

Memories everywhere. Took Tika in to our regular vet for her shots, and she put her paws up on the receptionist's counter just like Remington always used to do, because he knew there were nice people back there who gave him goodies. And our holiday picture was posted on their photo board, all 3 of my dogs. It's still hard, every time I buckle Jake into his seatbelt and there's an empty seat next to him. Took his NADAC, USDAA, and CPE registration cards out of my wallet so I wouldn't see them every time I enter an agility trial, and that felt like ripping a piece out of my life.

It really does get easier every day not to think about it, because thinking about it hurts. I find that I usually can talk about him--but talking about *losing* him or the fact that he *isn't* here is painful.

I've gotten lots of cards and email from his assorted friends, and that helps. And Tika and Jake have been pretty good dogs the last couple of weeks, which also helps.

NADAC Weekend

Saturday was a good day for us at the NADAC fund-raising trial in Elk Grove. Jake finished his O-NATCH, which is a double NADAC agility championship. Tika finished all three regular novice titles: Standard (NAC), Jumpers (NJC), and Gamblers (NGC). Each dog had 6 runs: 2 standard, gamblers, jumpers, tunnelers, weavers. Both qualified in 5 out of 6, and both placed every time (Jake not unexpected because there were only about 1-6 dogs in his class; Tika was competing against 12-24, though).

Tika's Runs: In her first standard run of the day, she flew off the aframe and I made her come back and redo the whole thing. She hit her contact on the teeter but didn't stick it, and I made her come back and redo the whole thing. She stuck the dogwalk contact nicely, and in the second round she stuck them all and I didn't have any handling bobbles worth mentioning and she qualified and took 1st.

Her start-line stay was wonderful all weekend.

Her contacts were on-and-off-again. In gamblers, she flew off the dogwalk the first time; I made her come back to the contact point and "touch"; she stuck it and 2 teeters the rest of the opening. Got the gamble nicely, which was just jumps and tunnels.

Can't make weaves when she's out ahead of me and moving quickly-- in gmbl opening, she flew past them the first time, hit the entry the 2nd time but was moving so fast she bounced off the 2nd pole and skipped a couple. In her 2 standard runs on Sunday, she blew past the weaves both times. When ahead of her going to the weaves, she does great--witness her weavers run, consisting of a bunch of tunnels and 4 (?) different sets of weave poles, all of which she got beautifully, and none of which she was out ahead of me for.

She blasted through her tunnelers run in what I thought was about nearly flawless as a dog could get, although it's possible she veered slightly away from one tunnel before going in and maybe slowed down a wee itty bitty bit when I called her from one tunnel to another. There were actually 2 dogs out of *all* dogs entered, all levels all heights, faster than her--one by less than a tenth of a second, and one by a full second, but I know that dog has been doing agility for a while because I've seen him for quite a while. Still, Tika was pretty amazing.

Also makes it extremely difficult to handle her on anything other than a wide-open course. We're nowhere near understanding each other on sharper turns, so it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of a chaotic run at all times--which sometimes they descend into.

Yards Per Second: Tika was 3 seconds faster than Jake on the tunnelers course, and he was moving fairly well, although I wouldn't say he was at superjake speed. Tika covered the course at a speed of 6.36 yards per second. Think about it! Jake's speed was 5.34 yps, which is still respectable. Jake's fastest yps ever was 6.12 on a jumpers course (which is *dang* fine!), but nearest after that was 5.69 (which is also pretty fine--for comparison, looks like most of his runs where he's over 5.25 are good for a 1st place--).

For a comparison on how different obstacles affect YPS--the weavers course was exactly the same as tunnelers except that 4 tunnels were replaced by sets of 6 or 12 weave poles. Tika did go past one tunnel and I had to turn her and get her back in, so we probably lost 2-3 seconds, but she blazed through that thing at 4.06 yps--only dog faster than Tika was 3 seconds faster (no tunnel bobble--makes their average 4.58 yps), so that's a fine speed on a weavers course. Jake, whose weaves are OK but never does them superfast in competition for some reason, had no bobbles but was still 3 seconds slower than Tika, averaging 3.63 yps, which was decent but not blazing.

Jake: Still--he's doing pretty good for an 11-and-a-half-yr-old dog.

He's getting to be pretty reliable, especially since now, this weekend at least, he's actually starting to stop on contacts with 2 on, 2 off, after struggling to retrain for a while. We divided errors--he popped a contact once & missed 2 "outs" although one of them I could have perhaps handled more strongly if I hadn't thought it was easy for him, and I forgot where I was once. That doesn't happen too often any more, either.

He seems to run hot and cold on "out"--2 runs this weekend where I depended on his strong "out", he came in towards me. Guess I need to keep practicing it or he loses it. Missed a fairly easy gamble that way, missed a dogwalk/tunnel discrimination that way. We've been practicing "outs" in the yard today, and sure enough, he's acting like he's never done them before. Sheesh. So much for my Jedi gambling master who'll actually swerve away from me on an "out."

USDAA Weekend

Last weekend we were in Madera for a USDAA trial. Was a fairly small trial; no extras at all, so Jake had only 5 runs all weekend and Tika only 6. Jake was a very good boy, qualified 4 out of 5 and was just a smidgen away from Qing on the gamble, too, but I mishandled it. Took 1st in 2 of his runs, too, in his Performance (used to be Veterans) division and was fast enough that he'd have placed even among the 30-or-so 22" dogs in the Championship division.

I was pleased with Tika's performance most of the weekend. I really wanted to make sure she was getting her contacts, and she did all weekend. The other issue has been staying at the start line, which she also did all weekend. And except for the gamble, where she stopped *next* to the final table to sniff at gopher holes, she never dropped her attention from me or the agility ring. We did very well in our standard runs--didn't Q in the first one because she knocked the first 2 bars, but we had ended up playing Start-Line Chicken and I think we started her off balance. 2nd one she didn't get up on the table right away, and then got up partway through, altogether probably wasting close to 10 seconds--but she was fast enough and accurate enough that we Qed and took 1st, since we were one of only a handful of novice dogs who *did* Q on that course.

I was particularly gleeful to discover that the 2nd run contained a difficult (for novice) obstacle sequence that was *exactly* the sequence we've been working on lately in the yard: jump, jump, into a U-shaped tunnel, come out the left side and immediately into the weaves. It took us a while to get her into the weaves correctly in the yard, but she's been nailing it for at least a week. Of course, you don't know how the dog will behave in real competition, but she nailed that weave entry perfectly! That entry was probably what kept more dogs from qualifying than anything else on the course.

She was superb in snooker, did everything I asked with no bobbles on either of our parts except that she knocked a bar in #5 on the closing--had 11 seconds left when we were done! She's a fast little gal. Did fairly well in gamblers, although missed one weave entry and I handled a cross badly and she leaped up at me and barked and grabbed. If it wasn't for sniffing next to the table--Argh. She and her partner ran beautifully in pairs for another 1st place. Our jumpers course was a much more technical one than we've encountered before; I thought it would be difficult, and it was. We were all over the place, and she wasn't even carrying out by the end, just kept coming back in to me & leaping, barking, grabbing. We really really need work on tight handling; the wide open courses we can do except for the occasional knocked bar.

My friends presented me with a book about Dog Heaven, signed by a number of people with little notes about Remington. I thought I could read it without crying. I couldn't. But it's a wonderful thing to have.

Interesting Things

You have to understand that I'm not a superstitious or religious person. I'm not even convinced there's any kind of afterlife, which is another thing that makes it so hard for Remington to go--he wasn't actually going; he was stopping. Maybe I'm grasping at straws now--read on.

Remington was not into licking. Even if you had food on your hands, he thought licking was a bad idea. I tried to teach him to lick/kiss on command, but I had to just about bury my hand or face in peanut butter to get his tongue out. But he *did* like to smell people's breath. That was a nearly daily ritual; at some point, he'd position his nose an inch or two from my face and hold it there--you could see his nose twitching, smelling, looking for some kind of status imperceptible to me--then, satisfied, he'd move away and go about his business.

Tika is a licking dog. She licks constantly. It drives me nuts. Put a hand or face near her, and it's lick lick lick. She even smells with contact--if she's sniffing your leg, there's an annoying little tickle all up and down and around where her nose is just touching the surface. No subtlety at all.

The day Remington died, I was on the floor, petting and scritching both Tika and Jake and trying not to cry while I was doing so. Tika sat down in front of me, lifted her nose--stopped an inch or two away from my face, and sniffed, just her nose twitching, checking my breath; then, having gotten her status, she looked away again. So perfectly Remington-like. She had never done that before and she hasn't done it since.

Then there's Jake. Jake sleeps while we travel, unlike Remington, who would sit up the entire trip and look for Cows. Rem's head would snap to one direction or another if he thought there might be Cows there. I could point out one side or the other and say, "Look, Cows over there!" and he'd turn his head to look where I was pointing. His head moved slowly as we drove by the Cows so that he could keep his gaze fixed on them. Once in a while, when Rem got very excited about some particular Cow situation, Jake would sit up, peer out the windows (in what I always thought looked like a nearsighted squint), and then lie down again and return to slumber.

This weekend, we were driving back from the central valley over Pacheco Pass. As we approached the valley, we passed a couple of aggregates of Cows, and I hurt all over at not having anyone to point out the cows to. Suddenly, moments later, Jake sat up, looked out one window, then the other, and--seeing Cows--watched them intently, his head moving slowly to follow them as we drove by. He sat up for the rest of the drive through the rural valley, looking out one window, then the other, following Cows with his gaze whenever we passed some. Once, I saw that he was looking opposite to where another Cow bunch were grazing, so I pointed and said, "Look, Cows over there!" and he turned to look.

I don't know what it means. The scientific part of me says that it's all coincidence or possibly a dozen other things. But both of these episodes were as comforting to me as they were heartbreaking, which is a difficult combination of emotions to get my grasp around.

Am I Crazy, Or What?

It's pouring rain. It's also about time to get in my car and drive out to the hotel in the central valley (Madera) so I'll be ready to do agility at the crack'o'dawn tomorrow. Probably also in the pouring rain.

I've been feeling this week like I don't really care about agility. Another sign of my grief and depression. So it's not like I'm *not* looking forward to this weekend--I'm just not looking forward to it. I'm apathetic. But it's better to go than to stay. I did have a good time last Sunday when I managed to not be thinking about Rem several times during the day.

The Other Dogs React

I see more reaction to Rem's absence from Jake than from Tika.

Rem used to lie in my office, either on his bed or behind my chair, while Jake had three favorite spots--under the table if I was in the kitchen, or in his chair or sometimes at my feet when I was at my desk. Several times a day I have noticed Jake trotting down into my office, going around the corner of my desk, looking around as if searching for something. On Monday I noticed him once with his head up over the edge of Rem's bed (which is elevated), sniffing the air back and forth. Never noticed him do that before. And then certainly the last 2 days--not sure about Monday--he has spent a lot of time lying on the floor near Rem's bed. Not looking at it--in fact, facing away--not looking depressed, just licking his paws or holding his squeaky or whatever he might usually do while lying somewhere. But I don't think he ever lay there before.

Wed. morning I changed the cover on Rem's bed so that the one Rem had last slept on was no longer there. Wed. evening, Jake got up on the bed and started the nesting thing, where he digs and pushes and grunts and growls at the bedding, which I have seen him do maybe a couple of times on Rem's bed in the whole time we've been in this house (19 months). But he didn't lie down--hopped off again and went on his way.

I don't think he's been in his own chair at all this week, which is where he usually nests enthusiastically and then settles in. He's mostly been right at my feet under the desk or under the table when he's not near Rem's bed.

The action that hit me the hardest was last night at agility class. I've almost always had Rem's and Jake's classes one right after the other, sometimes one first, sometimes the other. Usually the first dog doesn't want to get back in the car because he knows I'm going to get the other dog out to do agility. Last night, after Jake was done, I walked him back to the car, and he didn't want to get in as usual, even though there had been no Rem driving up with us. When he did get in, he stuck his head way out, moving his nose back and forth and up and down just an inch or two, scenting the air, looking towards Rem's seat. Then he stuck his head between the two front seats, and checked both seats. Looked in the back of the car. Looked everywhere again. Not frantically, just looking, mostly not moving his feet, just his head and more his nose. Stood there, air scenting, nose up and back and forth and all around, before he finally turned back towards me. Jeez.

My general impression is that he's been snugglier and hanging tighter to me.

Tika I think is also hanging closer. For example, usually she goes upstairs and rests on my nice down comforter whenever I'm not doing anything interesting, or in good weather lies on the deck to scout the yard. Although the last few days have been nice, she has mostly been hanging in the house. Right now she's been lying on the floor behind my chair--where Remington often used to lie. Did that yesterday, too.

In bed, Jake's place is on the side directly to my left, Rem's was at the left foot of the bed, Tika's right next to my feet on the right. Made it crowded for both her and me. I'm hoping to move her over to where Rem slept, but I don't want to push it. Monday morning and again this morning, while my brain was still in the stage of deciding whether to wake up, she has stepped across me, turned and turned and turned--not quite all the way over to where Rem slept--and then at the last minute stepped back to her usual spot to lie down. Never has done that before; stayed away from the boys' sleeping spots.

The usual wake-up ritual has her stretch out up my right side so I can rub her with my right hand while skritching Jake with my left. Twice in the last 3 days she has stepped across me and stretched out on Jake's side, which she's also never done before. I've moved her back so she's not between us.

I haven't so far seen any signs of changes in who's in charge or how they interact with each other, although I wonder whether Tika's actions aren't showing signs of taking over Rem's spots--

Jake and Tika do NADAC

I keep trying to write about Remington but I can't do it here yet.

But Tika and Jake and I went to the 2nd day of the Elk Grove NADAC agility trial Sunday because staying home the day before with all of the reminders was tearing me apart. After we got through all of the "sorry"s, I was able to spend most of the day concentrating on my 2 beasts and their runs.

Jake had a great day. He qualified in 5 out of 5 runs, which is a pretty good percentage. He's now entered in Veterans, so he's not competing against as many dogs, and he's jumping a mere 12" instead of the 20" he jumped all the way through earning his NATCH. Still, I managed to get him into SuperJake mode for at least 2 of the runs, and he was merely fast in the others; we were in synch; didn't make stupid handler errors. It was a nice time. He took 2 firsts, a second, and a third--didn't stay long enough to see whether he placed in the last event. And his times and scores were good enough that he'd have placed in the regular classes, as well. So I'm pretty pleased with that.

I especially wanted to be there because NADAC now allows you (doesn't kick you out or yell at you) to do things that would be considered training in the ring in other organizations, and since she'd been popping contacts 2 weeks ago at the trial, I wanted to give it a try here. Sure enough, she did it here, too.

First run, she didn't stay at the start line. I brought her back, made her take the position again, and I didn't have problems with that the rest of the day. First run, she flew off the Aframe and went to check a corner of the ring, but came back to me. I had her do that contact again, and she stuck it, then stuck the teeter and dogwalk also. I thought we had it licked.

But the second round, she popped the dogwalk; made her do it again. Stuck the teeter, flew off the Aframe; made her do it again.

In gamblers, I picked a course that would've been really nice if she had stuck her contacts, but she popped the Aframe once, I made her do it again, then she popped the DW twice and stuck the third time. Again stuck the teeter OK.

Jumpers doesn't have contacts in it--but I said "go" when it should've been "come" on a curving row of jumps.

Last run of the day was touch-n-go, which is all tunnels and contacts. She popped the first Aframe and when I stopped, she tootled out into the field before finally coming back my way. I took her off.

Our instructor says we did exactly the right thing for where she is at the moment.

But I also think she has tunnel suck--I think I remember at least 4 occasions where she blasted into a tunnel ahead of her when that wasn't what I wanted her to do. I'll have to think about this. She *does* love tunnels.

In class today, she went chasing off after squirrels or memories of squirrels or whatever 3 or 4 times and wouldn't come back. Argh. It's like we're right back at the beginning again. I haven't really had her out at the gopher/squirrel park since Rem got worse in January, I think, because I didn't want to have to monitor him and her, too. So I guess I need to do more of that. Although we *did* practice *constantly* while we were up in Oregon, and she came over & over for a reward, except on 2 occasions when there was actually something out there that she wanted, which isn't the point. Grumble.

Amber and Remington

Just posted photos showing Amber and Remington in Rem's bio posted March 8.