Looking back at a long-gone marriage

SUMMARY: How I felt then, how I feel now, what came between.

Source: Nover 23, 2025 Nextdoor response to a woman who has just divorced.

My parents lived to celebrate their 62nd anniversary. I always thought that my life would be like that, too, but we split after 20 years (25 years ago). Other people's anniversaries both delight me because they're a sign of affection and commitment and ways that things can work, but at the same time, for example, when friends celebrated their 40th, I have to have a few minutes to myself to mourn what was, and then put myself right back into my lovely life that I would never have had otherwise. 

By the time we split, I was so tired of the what we went through that the next day dawned bright and sunny (no idea whether it really was, but it felt like it). Not to say that I didn't spend many evenings off and on for months bawling my head off. I still occasionally get hit with a reminder of the grief that it didn't work out, and for the good times that we did have, but also by the time we split, I was done. I asked my trusted doctor for a counseling recommendation, and she helped me more than words can describe. I saw her maybe weekly for probably 3 months. It's not for everyone, and I'm pretty independent, but it helped me get over the initial intense grief and sorrow. And put me into a much happier life.

I mean, divorce is very similar to losing a loved one to death, and everyone reacts differently. But in either case, the grief isn't likely to vanish in just a day; more real expectation is that you'll find it fading, and every once in a while, needing a few moments (or more) when it sneaks in again. This is completely normal.

Also since then I have done so much traveling, and I can have as many dogs as I want ;-) and furnish and decorate my home the way I want and schedule my day the way I want and I do thrive on this. And I remember that my divorce was by no means the world rejecting me and I treasure friends and family even more. 

I always thought I'd remarry eventually, but it has now been longer apart than we were married, and I just haven't encountered anyone that fit the bill. I love being independent. I have a number of friends who divorced at about the same timeframe who have found new life-long companions, and they're pretty happy, too. 

Wherever your life leads from here,I hope for a long, happy, healthy experience in everything.  

If you want, you can search online for "how to survive divorce" or whatever. There are also books available. I like this particular page for no-nonsense, clear, short bullet points. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/how-to-survive-divorce-15-tips-to-getting-through-it/

Me (left) and sister with the ones who didn't work out for us:
Breakfast at Disneyland.

Me (right) and sister with the one who worked out for her.
Breakfast at Disneyland.
Who needs the losers??

it will be impossible to downsize; it's all about the walls.

SUMMARY:  I have too many things.

source : November 16, 2025, Facebook discussion about how much horizontal wall space one needs to accommodate books and or art.

I have five bookcases that are 4' x 7'h. I also have 12 others of various heights (3 feet to 6 feet) and widths (mostly 3 feet or 4 feet wide). so, without measuring everything in detail, and allowing 3.5 feet average width for the other bookcases, that's 62 linear feet.

because I like places to display my dragons where they are less likely to be broken, I also have 3 cabinets that are at least half glass fronted and are 6 1/2 feet high and a total of 16 more linear feet wide. That's not counting my bedroom dressers or my China/linen cabinet or various other display unit units. 

 Then I can start counting how much art I have to hang. Fortunately, most of it is not very large. So I can get several pieces per wall segment.

The original Facebook post of someone else's page by someone else

I also have to run sturdy extension cords from behind the furniture because they're blocking an outlet. Fortunately in this newer house of mine, there are usually plenty of other outlets in the room.

Life is complicated when you like your Things.