SUMMARY: Finding ways to feel less grief this year.
This year (4th year w/out parents or cousin), I have found that xmas music--which I have always loved, yet in past years has made me cry-- actually seems to envelop me in a warm, loving, safe place, so I've been playing it a lot and singing along loudly (I just try to avoid, say, Blue Christmas). I think I got my love of Christmas music through my mom, who was the most musical parent.
And I have deliberately taken on hosting xmas after these few years with almost nothing going on for me. Stressful--SO much to do!--but happy stressful. I am very much looking forward to having much of the family here, even though I'm not entirely clear yet on what kinds of new traditions we might be keeping from the last few holidays. I want traditions.
I'm well aware that it's all different for different people, or even for the same person on different years, or different days! (As it is for me.) Here's an excellent article on this topic.
So far, I've hung almost all the purple (including ones that have some purple somewhere) and blue ornaments. Five boxes of ornaments to go! I'm thinkin' I'm not actually going to get them all hung, and that's OK, too.
Wishing you all whatever you can find during this Holiday season to bring you some peace, or some feeling of being cared about, or some joy.
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